The Rainbow-虹(英文版)-第117部分

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the　tiny　clinkclinkclink　of　the　wagons　blown　between　the　wind；
the　light　of　Beldoveredge　twinkling　upon　the　blackness　of　the
hill　opposite；　the　glow　of　the　furnaces　along　the　railway　to　the
right；　their　steps　began　to　falter。　They　would　soon　e　out　of
the　darkness　into　the　lights。　It　was　like　turning　back。　It　was
unfulfilment。　Two　quivering；　unwilling　creatures；　they　lingered
on　the　edge　of　the　darkness；　peering　out　at　the　lights　and　the
machineglimmer　beyond。　They　could　not　turn　back　to　the
worldthey　could　not。

So　lingering　along；　they　came　to　a　great　oak　tree　by　the
path。　In　all　its　budding　mass　it　roared　to　the　wind；　and　its
trunk　vibrated　in　every　fibre；　powerful；　indomitable。

〃We　will　sit　down；〃　he　said。

And　in　the　roaring　circle　under　the　tree；　that　was　almost
invisible　yet　whose　powerful　presence　received　them；　they　lay　a
moment　looking　at　the　twinkling　lights　on　the　darkness　opposite；
saw　the　sweeping　brand　of　a　train　past　the　edge　of　their
darkened　field。

Then　he　turned　and　kissed　her；　and　she　waited　for　him。　The
pain　to　her　was　the　pain　she　wanted；　the　agony　was　the　agony　she
wanted。　She　was　caught　up；　entangled　in　the　powerful　vibration
of　the　night。　The　man；　what　was　he？a　dark；　powerful
vibration　that　enpassed　her。　She　passed　away　as　on　a　dark
wind；　far；　far　away；　into　the　pristine　darkness　of　paradise；
into　the　original　immortality。　She　entered　the　dark　fields　of
immortality。

When　she　rose；　she　felt　strangely　free；　strong。　She　was　not
ashamed；why　should　she　be？　He　was　walking　beside　her；　the
man　who　had　been　with　her。　She　had　taken　him；　they　had　been
together。　Whither　they　had　gone；　she　did　not　know。　But　it　was　as
if　she　had　received　another　nature。　She　belonged　to　the　eternal；
changeless　place　into　which　they　had　leapt　together。

Her　soul　was　sure　and　indifferent　of　the　opinion　of　the　world
of　artificial　light。　As　they　went　up　the　steps　of　the
footbridge　over　the　railway；　and　met　the　trainpassengers；　she
felt　herself　belonging　to　another　world；　she　walked　past　them
immune；　a　whole　darkness　dividing　her　from　them。　When　she　went
into　the　lighted　diningroom　at　home；　she　was　impervious　to　the
lights　and　the　eyes　of　her　parents。　Her　everyday　self　was　just
the　same。　She　merely　had　another；　stronger　self　that　knew　the
darkness。

This　curious　separate　strength；　that　existed　in　darkness　and
pride　of　night；　never　forsook　her。　She　had　never　been　more
herself。　It　could　not　occur　to　her　that　anybody；　not　even　the
young　man　of　the　world；　Skrebensky；　should　have　anything　at　all
to　do　with　her　permanent　self。　As　for　her　temporal；　social　self；
she　let　it　look　after　itself。

Her　whole　soul　was　implicated　with　Skrebenskynot　the
young　man　of　the　world；　but　the　undifferentiated　man　he　was。　She
was　perfectly　sure　of　herself；　perfectly　strong；　stronger　than
all　the　world。　The　world　was　not　strongshe　was　strong。
The　world　existed　only　in　a　secondary　sense：she　existed
supremely。

She　continued　at　college；　in　her　ordinary　routine；　merely　as
a　cover　to　her　dark；　powerful　underlife。　The　fact　of　herself；
and　with　her　Skrebensky；　was　so　powerful；　that　she　took　rest　in
the　other。　She　went　to　college　in　the　morning；　and　attended　her
classes；　flowering；　and　remote。

She　had　lunch　with　him　in　his　hotel；　every　evening　she　spent
with　him；　either　in　town；　at　his　rooms；　or　in　the　country。　She
made　the　excuse　at　home　of　evening　study　for　her　degree。　But　she
paid　not　the　slightest　attention　to　her　study。

They　were　both　absolute　and　happy　and　calm。　The　fact　of　their
own　consummate　being　made　everything　else　so　entirely
subordinate　that　they　were　free。　The　only　thing　they　wanted；　as
the　days　went　by；　was　more　time　to　themselves。　They　wanted　the
time　to　be　absolutely　their　own。

The　Easter　vacation　was　approaching。　They　agreed　to　go　right
away。　It　would　not　matter　if　they　did　not　e　back。　They　were
indifferent　to　the　actual　facts。

〃I　suppose　we　ought　to　get　married；〃　he　said；　rather
wistfully。　It　was　so　magnificently　free　and　in　a　deeper
world；　as　it　was。　To　make　public　their　connection　would　be　to
put　it　in　range　with　all　the　things　which　nullified　him；　and
from　which　he　was　for　the　moment　entirely　dissociated。　If　he
married　he　would　have　to　assume　his　social　self。　And　the　thought
of　assuming　his　social　self　made　him　at　once　diffident　and
abstract。　If　she　were　his　social　wife；　if　she　were　part　of　that
plication　of　dead　reality；　then　what　had　his　underlife　to　do
with　her？　One's　social　wife　was　almost　a　material　symbol。
Whereas　now　she　was　something　more　vivid　to　him　than　anything　in
conventional　life　could　be。　She　gave　the　plete　lie　to　all
conventional　life；　he　and　she　stood　together；　dark；　fluid；
infinitely　potent；　giving　the　living　lie　to　the　dead　whole　which
contained　them。

He　watched　her　pensive；　puzzled　face。

〃I　don't　think　I　want　to　marry　you；〃　she　said；　her　brow
clouded。

It　piqued　him　rather。

〃Why　not？〃　he　asked。

〃Let's　think　about　it　afterwards；　shall　we？〃　she　said。

He　was　crossed；　yet　he　loved　her　violently。

〃You've　got　a　museau；　not　a　face；〃　he　said。

〃Have　I？〃　she　cried；　her　face　lighting　up　like　a　pure　flame。
She　thought　she　had　escaped。　Yet　he　returnedhe　was　not
satisfied。

〃Why？〃　he　asked；　〃why　don't　you　want　to　marry　me？〃

〃I　don't　want　to　be　with　other　people；〃　she　said。　〃I　want　to
be　like　this。　I'll　tell　you　if　ever　I　want　to　marry　you。〃

〃All　right；〃　he　said。

He　would　rather　the　thing　was　left　indefinite；　and　that　she
took　the　responsibility。

They　talked　of　the　Easter　vacation。　She　thought　only　of
plete　enjoyment。

They　went　to　an　hotel　in　Piccadilly。　She　was　supposed　to　be
his　wife。　They　bought　a　weddingring　for　a　shilling；　from　a　shop
in　a　poor　quarter。

They　had　revoked　altogether　the　ordinary　mortal　world。　Their
confidence　was　like　a　possession　upon　them。　They　were　possessed。
Perfectly　and　supremely　free　they　felt；　proud　beyond　all
question；　and　surpassing　mortal　conditions。

They　were　perfect；　therefore　nothing　else　existed。　The　world
was　a　world　of　servants　whom　one　civilly　ignored。　Wherever　they
went；　they　were　the　sensuous　aristocrats；　warm；　bright；　glancing
with　pure　pride　of　the　senses。

The　effect　upon　other　people　was　extraordinary。　The　glamour
was　cast　from　the　young　couple　upon　all　they　came　into　contact
with；　waiters　or　chance　acquaintances。

〃Oui；　Monsieur　le　baron；〃　she　would　reply　with　a
mocking　courtesy　to　her　husband。

So　they　came　to　be　treated　as　titled　people。　He　was　an
officer　in　the　engineers。　They　were　just　married；　going　to　India
immediately。

Thus　a　tissue　of　romance　was　round　them。　She　believed　she　was
a　young　wife　of　a　titled　husband　on　the　eve　of　departure　for
India。　This；　the　social　fact；　was　a　delicious　makebelief。　The
living　fact　was　that　he　and　she　were　man　and　woman；　absolute　and
beyond　all　limitation。

The　days　went　bythey　were　to　have　three　weeks
togetherin　perfect　success。　All　the　time；　they　themselves
were　reality；　all　outside　was　tribute　to　them。　They　were　quite
careless　about　money；　but　they　did　nothing　very　extravagant。　He
was　rather　surprised　when　he　found　that　he　had　spent　twenty
pounds　in　a　little　under　a　week；　but　it　was　only　the　irritation
of　having　to　go　to　the　bank。　The　machinery　of　the　old　system
lasted　for　him；　not　the　system。　The　money　simply　did　not
exist。

Neither　did　any　of　the　old　obligations。　They　came　home　from
the　theatre；　had　supper；　then　flitted　about　in　their
dressinggowns。　They　had　a　large　bedroom　and　a　corner
sittingroom　high　up；　remote　and　very　cosy。　They　ate　all　their
meals　in　their　own　rooms；　attended　by　a　young　German　called
Hans；　who　thought　them　both　wonderful；　and　answered
assiduously：

〃Gewiss；　Herr　Baronbitte　sehr；　Frau
Baronin。〃

Often；　they　saw　the　pink　of　dawn　away　across　the　park。　The
tower　of　Westminster　Cathedral　was　emerging；　the　lamps　of
Piccadilly；　stringing　away　beside　the　trees　of　the　park；　were
being　pale　and　mothlike；　the　morning　traffic　was
clockclocking　down　the　shadowy　road；　which　had　gleamed　all
night　like　metal；　down　below；　running　far　ahead　into　the　night；
beneath　the　lamps；　and　which　was　now　vague；　as　in　a　mist；
because　of　the　dawn。

Then；　as　the　flus