The Rainbow-虹(英文版)-第124部分

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supreme　fulfilment　she　would　never　enjoy？　Why　was　she　so　cold；　so
unroused；　so　indifferent？

As　they　went　home；　and　she　saw　the　many；　hateful　lights　of　the　bungalow；
of　several　bungalows　in　a　group；　he　said　softly：

〃Don't　lock　your　door。〃

〃I'd　rather；　here；〃　she　said。

〃No；　don't。　We　belong　to　each　other。　Don't　let　us　deny　it。〃

She　did　not　answer。　He　took　her　silence　for　consent。

He　shared　his　room　with　another　man。

〃I　suppose；〃　he　said；　〃it　won't　alarm　the　house　if　I　go　across　to　happier
regions。〃

〃So　long　as　you　don't　make　a　great　row　going；　and　don't　try　the　wrong
door；〃　said　the　other　man；　turning　in　to　sleep。

Skrebensky　went　out　in　his　widestriped　sleeping　suit。　He　crossed　the　big
dining　hall；　whose　low　firelight　smelled　of　cigars　and　whisky　and　coffee；
entered　the　other　corridor　and　found　Ursula's　room。　She　was　lying　awake；
wideeyed　and　suffering。　She　was　glad　he　had　e；　if　only　for
consolation。　It　was　consolation　to　be　held　in　his　arms；　to　feel　his　body
against　hers。　Yet　how　foreign　his　arms　and　body　were！　Yet　still；　not　so
horribly　foreign　and　hostile　as　the　rest　of　the　house　felt　to　her。

She　did　not　know　how　she　suffered　in　this　house。　She　was
healthy　and　exorbitantly　full　of　interest。　So　she　played　tennis
and　learned　golf；　she　rowed　out　and　swam　in　the　deep　sea；　and
enjoyed　it　very　much　indeed；　full　of　zest。　Yet　all　the　time；
among　those　others；　she　felt　shocked　and　wincing；　as　if　her
violentlysensitive　nakedness　were　exposed　to　the　hard；　brutal；
material　impact　of　the　rest　of　the　people。

The　days　went　by　unmarked；　in　a　full；　almost　strenuous
enjoyment　of　one's　own　physique。　Skrebensky　was　one　among　the
others；　till　evening　came；　and　he　took　her　for　himself。　She　was
allowed　a　great　deal　of　freedom　and　was　treated　with　a　good　deal
of　respect；　as　a　girl　on　the　eve　of　marriage；　about　to　depart
for　another　continent。

The　trouble　began　at　evening。　Then　a　yearning　for　something
unknown　came　over　her；　a　passion　for　something　she　knew　not
what。　She　would　walk　the　foreshore　alone　after　dusk；　expecting；
expecting　something；　as　if　she　had　gone　to　a　rendezvous。　The
salt；　bitter　passion　of　the　sea；　its　indifference　to　the　earth；
its　swinging；　definite　motion；　its　strength；　its　attack；　and　its
salt　burning；　seemed　to　provoke　her　to　a　pitch　of　madness；
tantalizing　her　with　vast　suggestions　of　fulfilment。　And　then；
for　personification；　would　e　Skrebensky；　Skrebensky；　whom　she
knew；　whom　she　was　fond　of；　who　was　attractive；　but　whose　soul
could　not　contain　her　in　its　waves　of　strength；　nor　his　breast
pel　her　in　burning；　salty　passion。

One　evening　they　went　out　after　dinner；　across　the　low　golf
links　to　the　dunes　and　the　sea。　The　sky　had　small；　faint　stars；
all　was　still　and　faintly　dark。　They　walked　together　in　silence；
then　ploughed；　labouring；　through　the　heavy　loose　sand　of　the
gap　between　the　dunes。　They　went　in　silence　under　the　even；
faint　darkness；　in　the　darker　shadow　of　the　sandhills。

Suddenly；　cresting　the　heavy；　sandy　pass；　Ursula　lifted　her
head；　and　shrank　back；　momentarily　frightened。　There　was　a　great
whiteness　confronting　her；　the　moon　was　incandescent　as　a　round
furnace　door；　out　of　which　came　the　high　blast　of　moonlight；
over　the　seaward　half　of　the　world；　a　dazzling；　terrifying　glare
of　white　light。　They　shrank　back　for　a　moment　into　shadow；
uttering　a　cry。　He　felt　his　chest　laid　bare；　where　the　secret
was　heavily　hidden。　He　felt　himself　fusing　down　to　nothingness；
like　a　bead　that　rapidly　disappears　in　an　incandescent
flame。

〃How　wonderful！〃　cried　Ursula；　in　low；　calling　tones。　〃How
wonderful！〃

And　she　went　forward；　plunging　into　it。　He　followed　behind。
She　too　seemed　to　melt　into　the　glare；　towards　the　moon。

The　sands　were　as　ground　silver；　the　sea　moved　in　solid
brightness；　ing　towards　them；　and　she　went　to　meet　the
advance　of　the　flashing；　buoyant　water。　＇She　gave　her　breast
to　the　moon；　her　belly　to　the　flashing；　heaving　water。＇　He　stood
behind；　enpassed；　a　shadow　ever　dissolving。

She　stood　on　the　edge　of　the　water；　at　the　edge　of　the　solid；
flashing　body　of　the　sea；　and　the　wave　rushed　over　her　feet。

〃I　want　to　go；〃　she　cried；　in　a　strong；　dominant　voice。　〃I
want　to　go。〃

He　saw　the　moonlight　on　her　face；　so　she　was　like　metal；　he
heard　her　ringing；　metallic　voice；　like　the　voice　of　a　harpy　to
him。

She　prowled；　ranging　on　the　edge　of　the　water　like　a
possessed　creature；　and　he　followed　her。　He　saw　the　froth　of　the
wave　followed　by　the　hard；　bright　water　swirl　over　her　feet　and
her　ankles；　she　swung　out　her　arms；　to　balance；　he　expected
every　moment　to　see　her　walk　into　the　sea；　dressed　as　she　was；
and　be　carried　swimming　out。

But　she　turned；　she　walked　to　him。

〃I　want　to　go；〃　she　cried　again；　in　the　high；　hard　voice；
like　the　scream　of　gulls。

〃Where？〃　he　asked。

〃I　don't　know。〃

And　she　seized　hold　of　his　arm；　held　him　fast；　as　if　captive；
and　walked　him　a　little　way　by　the　edge　of　the　dazzling；　dazing
water。

Then　there　in　the　great　flare　of　light；　she　clinched　hold　of
him；　hard；　as　if　suddenly　she　had　the　strength　of　destruction；
she　fastened　her　arms　round　him　and　tightened　him　in　her　grip；
whilst　her　mouth　sought　his　in　a　hard；　rending；　everincreasing
kiss；　till　his　body　was　powerless　in　her　grip；　his　heart　melted
in　fear　from　the　fierce；　beaked；　harpy's　kiss。　The　water　washed
again　over　their　feet；　but　she　took　no　notice。　She　seemed
unaware；　she　seemed　to　be　pressing　in　her　beaked　mouth　till　she
had　the　heart　of　him。　Then；　at　last；　she　drew　away　and　looked　at
himlooked　at　him。　He　knew　what　she　wanted。　He　took　her　by
the　hand　and　led　her　across　the　foreshore；　back　to　the
sandhills。　She　went　silently。　He　felt　as　if　the　ordeal　of　proof
was　upon　him；　for　life　or　death。　He　led　her　to　a　dark
hollow。

〃No；　here；〃　she　said；　going　out　to　the　slope　full　under　the
moonshine。　She　lay　motionless；　with　wideopen　eyes　looking　at
the　moon。　He　came　direct　to　her；　without　preliminaries。　She　held
him　pinned　down　at　the　chest；　awful。　The　fight；　the　struggle　for
consummation　was　terrible。　It　lasted　till　it　was　agony　to　his
soul；　till　he　succumbed；　till　he　gave　way　as　if　dead；　lay　with
his　face　buried；　partly　in　her　hair；　partly　in　the　sand；
motionless；　as　if　he　would　be　motionless　now　for　ever；　hidden
away　in　the　dark；　buried；　only　buried；　he　only　wanted　to　be
buried　in　the　goodly　darkness；　only　that；　and　no　more。

He　seemed　to　swoon。　It　was　a　long　time　before　he　came　to
himself。　He　was　aware　of　an　unusual　motion　of　her　breast。　He
looked　up。　Her　face　lay　like　an　image　in　the　moonlight；　the　eyes
wide　open；　rigid。　But　out　of　the　eyes；　slowly；　there　rolled　a
tear；　that　glittered　in　the　moonlight　as　it　ran　down　her
cheek。

He　felt　as　if　as　the　knife　were　being　pushed　into　his　already
dead　body。　With　head　strained　back；　he　watched；　drawn　tense；　for
some　minutes；　watched　the　unaltering；　rigid　face　like　metal　in
the　moonlight；　the　fixed；　unseeing　eye；　in　which　slowly　the
water　gathered；　shook　with　glittering　moonlight；　then
surcharged；　brimmed　over　and　ran　trickling；　a　tear　with　its
burden　of　moonlight；　into　the　darkness；　to　fall　in　the　sand。

He　drew　gradually　away　as　if　afraid；　drew　awayshe　did
not　move。　He　glanced　at　hershe　lay　the　same。　Could　he
break　away？　He　turned；　saw　the　open　foreshore；　clear　in　front　of
him；　and　he　plunged　away；　on　and　on；　ever　farther　from　the
horrible　figure　that　lay　stretched　in　the　moonlight　on　the　sands
with　the　tears　gathering　and　travelling　on　the　motionless；
eternal　face。

He　felt；　if　ever　he　must　see　her　again；　his　bones　must　be
broken；　his　body　crushed；　obliterated　for　ever。　And　as　yet；　he
had　the　love　of　his　own　living　body。　He　wandered　on　a　long；　long
way；　till　his　brain　drew　dark　and　he　was　unconscious　with
weariness。　Then　he　curled　in　the　deepest　darkness　he　could　find；
under　the　seagrass；　and　lay　there　without　consciousness。

She　broke　from　her　tense　cramp　of　agony　gradually；　though
each　movement　was　a　goad　of　heavy　pain。　Gradually；　she　lifted
her　dead　body　from　the　sands；　and　rose　at　last。　There　was　now　no
moon　for　her；　no　sea。　All　had　passed　away。　She　trailed　her　dead
body　to　the　house；　to　her　room；　whe