The Rainbow-虹(英文版)-第94部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



He　looked　round　as　if　at　an　apparition。　Ursula　stood
shadowily　within　the　candlelight。

〃What　now？〃　he　said；　not　ing　to　earth。

It　was　difficult　to　speak　to　him。

〃I've　got　a　situation；〃　she　said；　forcing　herself　to
speak。

〃You've　got　what？〃　he　answered；　unwilling　to　e　out　of　his
mood　of　anplaying。　He　closed　the　music　before　him。

〃I've　got　a　situation　to　go　to。〃

Then　he　turned　to　her；　still　abstracted；　unwilling。

〃Oh；　where's　that？〃　he　said。

〃At　KingstononThames。　I　must　go　on　Thursday　for　an
interview　with　the　mittee。〃

〃You　must　go　on　Thursday？〃

〃Yes。〃

And　she　handed　him　the　letter。　He　read　it　by　the　light　of　the
candles。

〃Ursula　Brangwen；　Yew　Tree　Cottage；　Cossethay；
Derbyshire。

〃Dear　Madam；　You　are　requested　to　call　at　the　above　offices
on　Thursday　next；　the　10th；　at　11。30　a。m。；　for　an　interview　with
the　mittee；　referring　to　your　application　for　the　post　of
assistant　mistress　at　the　Wellingborough　Green　Schools。〃

It　was　very　difficult　for　Brangwen　to　take　in　this　remote　and
official　information；　glowing　as　he　was　within　the　quiet　of　his
church　and　his　anthem　music。

〃Well；　you　needn't　bother　me　with　it　now；　need　you？'　he　said
impatiently；　giving　her　back　the　letter。

〃I've　got　to　go　on　Thursday；〃　she　said。

He　sat　motionless。　Then　he　reached　more　music；　and　there　was
a　rushing　sound　of　air；　then　a　long；　emphatic　trumpetnote　of
the　an；　as　he　laid　his　hands　on　the　keys。　Ursula　turned　and
went　away。

He　tried　to　give　himself　again　to　the　an。　But　he　could
not。　He　could　not　get　back。　All　the　time　a　sort　of　string　was
tugging；　tugging　him　elsewhere；　miserably。

So　that　when　he　came　into　the　house　after　choirpractice　his
face　was　dark　and　his　heart　black。　He　said　nothing　however；
until　all　the　younger　children　were　in　bed。　Ursula；　however；
knew　what　was　brewing。

At　length　he　asked：

〃Where's　that　letter？〃

She　gave　it　to　him。　He　sat　looking　at　it。　〃You　are　requested
to　call　at　the　above　offices　on　Thursday　next〃　It
was　a　cold；　official　notice　to　Ursula　herself　and　had　nothing　to
do　with　him。　So！　She　existed　now　as　a　separate　social
individual。　It　was　for　her　to　answer　this　note；　without　regard
to　him。　He　had　even　no　right　to　interfere。　His　heart　was　hard
and　angry。

〃You　had　to　do　it　behind　our　backs；　had　you？〃　he　said；　with　a
sneer。　And　her　heart　leapt　with　hot　pain。　She　knew　she　was
freeshe　had　broken　away　from　him。　He　was　beaten。

〃You　said；　'let　her　try；'〃　she　retorted；　almost　apologizing
to　him。

He　did　not　hear。　He　sat　looking　at　the　letter。

〃Education　Office；　KingstononThames〃and　then　the
typewritten　〃Miss　Ursula　Brangwen；　Yew　Tree　Cottage；　Cossethay。〃
It　was　all　so　plete　and　so　final。　He　could　not　but　feel　the
new　position　Ursula　held；　as　recipient　of　that　letter。　It　was　an
iron　in　his　soul。

〃Well；〃　he　said　at　length；　〃you're　not　going。〃

Ursula　started　and　could　find　no　words　to　clamour　her
revolt。

〃If　you　think　you're　going　dancin'　off　to　th'　other　side　of
London；　you're　mistaken。〃

〃Why　not？〃　she　cried；　at　once　hard　fixed　in　her　will　to
go。

〃That's　why　not；〃　he　said。

And　there　was　silence　till　Mrs。　Brangwen　came　downstairs。

〃Look　here；　Anna；〃　he　said；　handing　her　the　letter。

She　put　back　her　head；　seeing　a　typewritten　letter；
anticipating　trouble　from　the　outside　world。　There　was　the
curious；　sliding　motion　of　her　eyes；　as　if　she　shut　off　her
sentient；　maternal　self；　and　a　kind　of　hard　trance；　meaningless；
took　its　place。　Thus；　meaningless；　she　glanced　over　the　letter；
careful　not　to　take　it　in。　She　apprehended　the　contents　with　her
callous；　superficial　mind。　Her　feeling　self　was　shut　down。

〃What　post　is　it？〃　she　asked。

〃She　wants　to　go　and　be　a　teacher　in　KingstononThames；　at
fifty　pounds　a　year。〃

〃Oh；　indeed。〃

The　mother　spoke　as　if　it　were　a　hostile　fact　concerning　some
stranger。　She　would　have　let　her　go；　out　of　callousness。　Mrs。
Brangwen　would　begin　to　grow　up　again　only　with　her　youngest
child。　Her　eldest　girl　was　in　the　way　now。

〃She's　not　going　all　that　distance；〃　said　the　father。

〃I　have　to　go　where　they　want　me；〃　cried　Ursula。　〃And　it's　a
good　place　to　go　to。〃

〃What　do　you　know　about　the　place？〃　said　her　father
harshly。

〃And　it　doesn't　matter　whether　they　want　you　or　not；　if　your
father　says　you　are　not　to　go；〃　said　the　mother　calmly。

How　Ursula　hated　her！

〃You　said　I　was　to　try；〃　the　girl　cried。　〃Now　I've　got　a
place　and　I'm　going　to　go。〃

〃You're　not　going　all　that　distance；〃　said　her　father。

〃Why　don't　you　get　a　place　at　Ilkeston；　where　you　can　live　at
home？〃　asked　Gudrun；　who　hated　conflicts；　who　could　not
understand　Ursula's　uneasy　way；　yet　who　must　stand　by　her
sister。

〃There　aren't　any　places　in　Ilkeston；〃　cried　Ursula。　〃And　I'd
rather　go　right　away。〃

〃If　you'd　asked　about　it；　a　place　could　have　been　got　for　you
in　Ilkeston。　But　you　had　to　play　Miss　Highan'mighty；　and　go
your　own　way；〃　said　her　father。

〃I've　no　doubt　you'd　rather　go　right　away；〃　said　her　mother；
very　caustic。　〃And　I've　no　doubt　you'd　find　other　people　didn't
put　up　with　you　for　very　long　either。　You've　too　much　opinion　of
yourself　for　your　good。〃

Between　the　girl　and　her　mother　was　a　feeling　of　pure　hatred。
There　came　a　stubborn　silence。　Ursula　knew　she　must　break
it。

〃Well；　they've　written　to　me；　and　I　s'll　have　to　go；〃　she
said。

〃Where　will　you　get　the　money　from？〃　asked　her　father。

〃Uncle　Tom　will　give　it　me；〃　she　said。

Again　there　was　silence。　This　time　she　was　triumphant。

Then　at　length　her　father　lifted　his　head。　His　face　was
abstracted；　he　seemed　to　be　abstracting　himself；　to　make　a　pure
statement。

〃Well；　you're　not　going　all　that　distance　away；〃　he　said。
〃I'll　ask　Mr。　Burt　about　a　place　here。　I'm　not　going　to　have　you
by　yourself　at　the　other　side　of　London。〃

〃But　I've　got　to　go　to　Kingston；〃　said　Ursula。
〃They've　sent　for　me。〃

〃They'll　do　without　you；〃　he　said。

There　was　a　trembling　silence　when　she　was　on　the　point　of
tears。

〃Well；〃　she　said；　low　and　tense；　〃you　can　put　me　off　this；
but　I'm　going　to　have　a　place。　I'm　not　going　to
stop　at　home。〃

〃Nobody　wants　you　to　stop　at　home；〃　he　suddenly　shouted；
going　livid　with　rage。

She　said　no　more。　Her　nature　had　gone　hard　and　smiling　in　its
own　arrogance；　in　its　own　antagonistic　indifference　to　the　rest
of　them。　This　was　the　state　in　which　he　wanted　to　kill　her。　She
went　singing　into　the　parlour。

　　　C'est　la　mere　Michel　qui　a　perdu　son　chat；
　　　Qui　cri　par　la　fere　qu'estce　qui　le　lue　renda〃

During　the　next　days　Ursula　went　about　bright　and　hard；
singing　to　herself；　making　love　to　the　children；　but　her　soul
hard　and　cold　with　regard　to　her　parents。　Nothing　more　was　said。
The　hardness　and　brightness　lasted　for　four　days。　Then　it　began
to　break　up。　So　at　evening　she　said　to　her　father：

〃Have　you　spoken　about　a　place　for　me？〃

〃I　spoke　to　Mr。　Burt。〃

〃What　did　he　say？〃

〃There's　a　mittee　meeting　tomorrow。　He'll　tell　me　on
Friday。〃

So　she　waited　till　Friday。　KingstononThames　had　been　an
exciting　dream。　Here　she　could　feel　the　hard；　raw　reality。　So
she　knew　that　this　would　e　to　pass。　Because　nothing　was　ever
fulfilled；　she　found；　except　in　the　hard　limited　reality。　She
did　not　want　to　be　a　teacher　in　Ilkeston；　because　she　knew
Ilkeston；　and　hated　it。　But　she　wanted　to　be　free；　so　she　must
take　her　freedom　where　she　could。

On　Friday　her　father　said　there　was　a　place　vacant　in
Brinsley　Street　school。　This　could　most　probably　be　secured　for
her；　at　once；　without　the　trouble　of　application。

Her　heart　halted。　Brinsley　Street　was　a　school　in　a　poor
quarter；　and　she　had　had　a　taste　of　the　mon　children　of
Ilkeston。　They　had　shouted　after　her　and　thrown　stones。　Still；
as　a　teacher；　she　would　be　in　authority。　And　it　was　all　unknown。
She　was　excited。　The　very　forest　of　dry；　sterile　brick　had　some
fascination　for　her。　It　was　so　hard　and　ugly；　so　relentlessly
ugly；　it　would　purge　her　of　some　of　her　floating
sentimentality。

She　dreamed　how　she　would　make　the　little；　ugly　children　love
her。　She　would　be　so　personal。　Teachers　were　always　so
hard　and　impersonal。　There　was　no　vivid　relationship。　She　would
make　everything　per