annr.pandora-第22部分

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　〃Madam；〃　he　said；　〃please　place　a　value　upon　my　loyalty　to　a　house　in　which　I　served　all　my　life。　I　cannot　speak　more；　If　I　bee　your　servant；　you　will　have　the　same　loyalty　from　me。　Your　house　will　bee　my　house；　and　sacred　to　me。　What　happens　within　your　walls　will　remain　within　your　walls。　I　speak　of　virtue　and　kindness　in　my　Master　because　this　is　proper　to　say。　Let　me　say　no　more。〃
　Sublime　old…Greek　morality。
　〃Write　more；　hurry！〃　said　the　slave　merchant。
　〃Be　quiet；〃　I　told　him。　〃He's　written　quite　enough。〃
　The　handsome　brown…haired　slave；　this　enticingly　beautiful　one…legged　man；　had　fallen　into　some　deep　pit　of　woe　and　looked　towards　the　distant　Forum；　flash　of　figures　back　and　forth　over　the　mouth　of　the　street。
　〃What　would　I　do　as　a　free　man？〃　he　said　to　me；　looking　up　at　me　from　a　position　of　utter　careless　loneliness。　〃Copy　all　day　for　a　pittance　at　the　booksellers？　Write　letters　for　coins？　My　Master　risked　his　own　life　to　save　me　from　that　boar。　In　battle　I　served　under　Tiberius　in　Illyricum；　where　with　some　fifteen　legions　he　put　down　all　revolts。　I　chopped　the　head　off　a　man　to　save　my　Master。　What　am　I　now？〃
　I　was　filled　with　pain。
　〃What　am　I　now'？〃　he　repeated　the　question。
　〃If　I　were　free；　I　would　live　hand　to　mouth；　and　when　I　slept　in　some　filthy　tenement；　my　ivory　leg　would　be　severed　and　stolen！〃
　I　gasped　and　put　my　hand　to　my　lips。
　His　eyes　filled　with　tears　as　he　looked　at　me；　and　his　voice　became　all　the　more　softer；　yet　sharply　articulate：
　〃Oh；　I　could　teach　philosophy　beneath　the　arches　out　there；　you　know；　prattle　on　about　Diogenes；　and　pretend　that　I　liked　wearing　rags；　as　do　his　followers　these　days。　What　a　circus　out　there；　have　you　seen　it？　I　have　never　seen　so　many　philosophers　in　my　life　as　in　this　city！　Take　a　look　when　you　go　back。　You　know　what　it　takes　to　teach　philosophy　here？　You　have　to　lie。　You　have　to　fling　meaningless　words　as　fast　as　you　can　at　young　people；　and　brood　when　you　can't　answer；　and　make　up　nonsense　and　ascribe　it　to　the　old　Stoics。〃
　He　broke　off；　and　tried　to　gain　mand　of　himself。
　I　was　almost　in　tears　as　I　looked　down　at　him。
　〃But　you　see；　I　have　no　skill　at　lying；〃　he　said。　〃That　has　been　my　undoing　with　you；　Great　Lady。〃
　I　was　shattered　inside；　my　wounds　silently　opened。　The　nerve　which　had　carried　me　out　of　confinement　was　ebbing　away。　But　surely　he　saw　my　tears。
　He　looked　towards　the　Forum　again。
　〃I　dream　of　an　honorable　Master　or　Mistress；　a　house　with　honor。　Can　a　slave　through　the　contemplation　of　honor　thereby　have　honor？　The　law　says　not。　So　any　slave　called　to　testify　in　a　court　trial　must　be　tortured；　for　he　has　no　honor！　But　reason　says　otherwise。　I　have　learned　and　I　can　teach　both　bravery　and　honor。　And　yes；　all　of　this　tablet　is　true。　I　didn't　have　time　or　opportunity　to　temper　its　boastful　style。〃
　He　bowed　his　head　and　looked　again　towards　the　Forum；　as　though　towards　the　lost　world。　He　drew　himself　up　in　the　chair；　for　bravery's　sake。　Again；　he　tried　to　stand。
　〃No；　sit；〃　I　said。
　〃Madam；〃　he　said；　〃if　you　seek　my　services　for　a　house　of　ill　repute；　let　me　tell　you　now。。。　if　it　is　to　torture　and　force　young　girls　such　as　those　you　just　purchased；　if　you　order　me　to　advertise　their　charms　abroad；　I　won't　do　it。　It　is　as　dishonorable　to　me　as　to　steal　or　to　lie。　Why　do　you　want　me？〃
　The　tears　were　halted；　merely　resting　between　him　and　his　vision　of　the　world　around　him。　His　face　was　serene。
　〃Do　I　look　as　if　I　am　a　whore？〃　I　asked　him　with　shock。　〃Yea　gods；　I　wore　all　my　best　clothes。　I'm　doing　my　best　to　look　revoltingly　respectable　in　all　these　fancy　silks！　Do　you　see　cruelty　in　my　eyes？　Can't　you　believe　that　it　is　perhaps　the　tempered　soul　that　survives　grief？　One　need　not　fight　on　a　battlefield　to　have　courage。〃
　〃No；　Madam；　no！〃　he　said。　He　was　so　very　sorry。
　〃Then　why　fling　these　insults　at　me　now？〃　I　said；　full　of　hurt。　〃And　no；　I　agree　with　you；　what　you've　written　there；　our　Roman　poets　are　not　the　equals　of　the　Greeks。　I　don't　know　our　destiny　as　an　Empire　and　this　weighs　as　heavily　on　me　as　it　ever　did　on　my　Father　and　his　Father！　Why'？　I　don't　know！〃　I　turned　as　if　to　go；　but　I　had　really　no　intention　of　going！　His　insults　had　simply　gone　too　far。
　He　bent　towards　me　over　the　writing　table。
　〃Madam；〃　he　said　whispering　even　lower　and　with　greater　solicitude。　〃Forgive　me　my　rash　words。　You　are　absolutely　a　paradox。　Your　face　is　eccentrically　painted；　and　I　think　the　lip　rouge　is　not　properly　set。　You　have　rouge　on　your　teeth。　You　have　no　powder　on　your　arms。　You　wear　three　dresses　of　silk　and　I　can　see　through　all　of　them！　Your　hair　is　in　two　barbarian…style　braids　lying　on　your　shoulders；　and　you　are　raining　little　silver　and　gold　pins　galore。　Look　at　these　little　pins　falling。　Madam；　you　will　be　hurt　by　these　pins。　Your　mantle；　more　appropriate　for　evening；　has　fallen　on　the　ground。　Your　hems　drag　in　the　dirt。〃
　Not　missing　a　beat　of　his　speech；　he　reached　down　deftly　and　picked　up　the　palla；　standing　at　once　to　offer　it　to　me；　ing　round　the　table　with　a　heavy　shift　of　his　leg；　to　lay　the　palla　on　my　shoulders。
　〃You　speak　with　miraculous　speed；　and　stunning　gibes；〃　he　went　on；　〃yet　you　carry　a　huge　dagger　in　your　girdle。　It　should　be　hidden　on　your　forearm　under　your　mantle。　And　your　purse。　You　take　gold　out　of　it　to　pay　the　girls。　It's　huge；　carelessly　visible。　And　your　hands；　your　hands　are　beautiful；　fine　as　your　Latin　and　your　Greek；　but　they　are　deeply　creased　with　dirt　as　though　you　have　been　digging　in　the　Earth　itself。〃
　I　smiled。　I　had　stopped　my　tears。
　〃You　are　very　observant；〃　I　said　cheerfully。　I　was　charmed。　〃Why　did　I　have　to　cut　you　so　deeply　to　find　your　soul？　Why　can't　we　simply　reveal　ourselves　to　one　another？　I　need　a　strong　steward；　a　guardian　who　can　bear　arms；　run　my　house　and　protect　it　because　I　am　alone。　Can　you　really　see　through　all　this　silk？〃
　He　nodded。　〃Well；　now　that　the　mantle　is　over　your　shoulders　and　hiding　the。。。　the　dagger　and　the　girdle　…　〃He　blushed。　Then　as　I　smiled　at　him；　trying　to　regain　my　calm；　trying　to　fight　back　the　engulfing　darkness　that　would　take　away　all　confidence　from　me；　all　faith　in　any　task；　he　spoke　on。
　〃Madam；　we　learn　to　hide　our　souls　because　we　are　betrayed　by　others。　But　I　would　entrust　to　you　my　soul！　I　know　it；　if　you　would　reconsider　your　judgment！　I　can　protect　you；　I　can　run　your　house。　I　will　not　molest　your　little　girls。　But　mark；　for　all　my　time　fighting　in　Illyricum　I　have　one　leg。　I　came　home　from　three　years　of　bloody　constant　battle　to　lose　it　to　a　boar　because　a　spear；　poorly　tempered　and　made；　broke　as　I　thrust　it　into　the　boar。〃
　〃What's　your　name？〃　I　asked。
　〃Flavius；〃　he　answered。　This　was　a　Roman　name。
　〃Flavius；〃　I　said。
　〃Madam；　the　palla　is　slipping　again　from　your　head。　And　these　little　pins；　they　are　sharp；　they　are　everywhere；　they'll　hurt　you。〃
　〃Never　mind　that；〃　I　said；　though　I　let　him　drape　me　again　properly　as　if　he　were　Pygmalion；　and　I　his　Galatea。　He　used　the　tips　of　his　fingers。　But　the　mantle　was　already　soiled。
　〃Those　girls；〃　I　said；　〃whom　you　glimpsed。　They　are　my　household；　as　of　the　past　half…hour。　You　have　to　be　their　loving　master。　But　if　you　lie　in　any　woman's　bed　under　my　roof；　the　bed　had　better　be　mine。　I　am　flesh　and　blood！〃
　He　nodded；　at　a　total　loss　for　words。
　I　pulled　open　my　purse　and　took　out　what　I　thought　to　pay；　a　reasonable　price　in　Rome；　I　thought；　where　slaves　were　always　bragging　about　how　much　they　had　cost。　I　laid　down　the　gold；　oblivious　to　the　imprint　of　the　coin；　only　gauging　the　value。
　The　slave　stared　at　me　with　ever　increasing　fascination；　then　his　eyes　whipped　the　merchant。
　The　slimy；　merciless；　weasling　slave　trader　puffed　up　like　a　toad　and　told　me　this　priceless　Greek　scholar　was　to　be　auctioned　for　a　high　price。　Several　rich　men　had　expressed　interest。　An　entire　school　class　was　to　question　him　within　the　hour。　Roman　officers　had　sent　their　stewards　to　inspect　him。
　〃I　have　no　more　stamina　for　it；〃　I　said；　and　reached　in　my　purse　again。
　At　once；　my　new　slave　Flavius　put　his　hand　out　gents　to　prevent　me。
　He　glared　at　the　merchant　with　great　authority　and　fearless　contempt。
　〃For　a　man　with　one　leg