annr.pandora-第25部分

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　The　dreams　approached。　〃Oh；　Mother　of　God；〃　I　whispered。
　The　Priestess　went　on　talking。
　〃You；　like　Mother　Isis；　have　been　the　victim　of　tragedy。　And　you；　like　Mother　Isis；　must　take　strength　and　walk　alone；　as　Isis　did　when　her　husband；　Osiris；　was　slain。　Who　helped　her　when　she　searched　all　over　Egypt　for　the　body　of　her　murdered　husband；　Osiris？　She　walked　alone。　She　is　the　greatest　of　the　goddesses。　When　she　recovered　the　body　of　her　husband；　Osiris；　and　could　find　no　organ　of　generation　for　him　with　which　she　might　be　impregnated；　she　drew　the　semen　right　from　his　spirit。　Thus；　the　god　Horus　was　born　of　a　woman　and　a　god。　It　was　the　power　of　Isis　who　drew　the　spirit　from　the　dead　man。　It　is　Isis　who　tricked　the　god　Ra　into　revealing　his　name。〃
　That　was　the　old　tale　all　right。
　I　looked　away　from　the　Priestess。　I　was　unable　to　look　at　her　decorated　face！　Surely　she　felt　my　revulsion。　I　must　not　hurt　her。　She　meant　well。　It　wasn't　her　fault　that　she　looked　to　me　like　a　monster。　Why　in　hell　had　I　e　here！
　I　lay　dazed。　The　room　had　a　soft　golden　light　ing　mainly　through　its　three　doors；　and　they　were　cut　Egyptian…style；　these　doors；　wider　at　the　base　than　at　the　top；　and　I　let　this　light　make　a　blur　of　my　vision。　I　asked　the　light　to　do　this。
　I　felt　the　Priestess's　hand。　Such　silken　warmth。　So　lovely；　her　touch；　her　sweetness。
　〃Do　you　believe　all　of　it！〃　I　suddenly　whispered。
　She　pletely　ignored　this　question。　Her　painted　mask　gave　forth　the　creed。
　〃You　must　be　like　Mother　Isis。　Depend　on　no　one。　You　don't　have　the　burden　of　recovering　a　lost　husband　or　father。　You　are　free。　Receive　into　your　house　men　with　love　as　you　choose。　You　belong　to　no　one　but　Mother　Isis。　Remember；　Isis　is　the　goddess　who　loves；　the　goddess　who　forgives；　the　goddess　of　infinite　understanding　because　she　herself　has　suffered！〃
　〃Suffered！〃　I　gasped。　I　moaned；　a　very　unmon　sound　for　me；　most　of　my　life。　But　I　saw　the　weeping　Queen　of　my　nightmares；　bound　to　her　throne；
　〃Listen　to　this；〃　I　said；　〃the　dreams　I　will　now　recount；　and　then　tell　me　why　it　is　happening。〃　I　knew　my　voice　sounded　angry。　I　was　sorry　for　it。　〃These　dreams　don't　e　from　wine　or　potions；　or　after　long　periods　of　wakefulness　that　twist　the　mind。〃
　Then　I　launched　into　another　totally　unplanned　confession。
　I　told　this　woman　of　the　blood　dreams；　the　dreams　of　ancient　Egypt　in　which　I　had　drunk　blood　…　the　altar；　the　Temple；　the　desert；　the　sun　rising。
　〃Amon　Ra！〃　I　said。　This　was　the　Egyptian　name　for　the　sun　god；　but　I　had　never　spoken　it　to　my　knowledge。　I　said　it　now。　〃Yes；　Isis　tricked　him　into　revealing　his　name；　but　he　killed　me　and　I　was　her　blood　drinker；　do　you　hear　me；　a　thirsty　god！〃
　〃No！〃　said　the　Priestess。　She　sat　motionless。
　She　thought　for　a　long　while。　I　had　scared　her　and　now　this　scared　me　all　the　more。
　〃Can　you　read　the　ancient　picture　writing　of　Egypt？〃　she　asked。
　〃No；〃　I　said。
　Then　she　said；　in　a　more　relaxed　and　vulnerable　tone：
　〃You　speak　of　very　old　legends；　legends　buried　in　the　history　of　our　worship　of　Isis　and　Osiris；　that　they　once　did　indeed　take　the　blood　of　their　victims　as　sacrifice。　There　are　scrolls　here　that　tell　of　this。　But　nobody　can　really　decipher　them；　except　for　one。。。〃
　Her　voice　trailed　off。
　〃Who　is　the　one？〃　I　asked。　I　sat　up　on　my　elbows。　I　realized　the　plaits　of　my　hair　had　e　undone。　Good。　It　felt　good　because　it　was　free　now　and　clean。　I　raked　my　hair　with　both　hands。
　What　did　it　feel　like　to　be　entombed　in　paint　and　wig　like　this　Priestess？
　〃Tell　me；〃　I　said；　〃who　is　the　one　who　can　read　these　legends。　Tell　me！〃
　〃These　are　evil　tales；〃　she　said；　〃that　Isis　herself　and　Osiris　live　on；　somewhere；　in　material　form；　taking　blood　even　now。〃　She　made　an　expression　of　denial　and　disgust。　〃But　this　is　not　our　worship！　We　sacrifice　no　humans　here！　Egypt　was　old　and　wise　before　Rome　was　born！〃
　Who　was　she　trying　to　convince？　MD
　〃I've　never　had　such　dreams；　in　a　string　like　this；　with　the　same　theme。〃
　She　became　very　worked　up　with　her　declarations。
　〃Our　Mother　Isis　has　no　taste　for　blood。　She　has　conquered　death　and　set　her　husband　Osiris　as　King　of　the　Dead；　but　for　us；　she　is　life　itself。　She　didn't　send　you　these　dreams。〃
　〃Probably　not！　I　agree　with　you。　But　then　who　did？　Where　do　they　e　from？　Why　did　they　pursue　me　at　sea'？　Who　is　this　one　who　can　read　the　old　writing？〃
　She　was　shaken。　She　had　let　go　of　me　and　she　stared　off；　her　eyes　taking　on　a　deceptive　ferocity　due　to　the　black　lining。
　〃Perhaps　somewhere　in　childhood　you　heard　an　old　tale；　maybe　an　old　Egyptian　Priest　told　it　to　you。　You　forgot　it；　and　now　it　flames　in　your　tortured　mind。　It　feeds　on　fires　to　which　it　has　no　right　…　your　Father's　death。〃
　〃Yes；　well；　I　certainly　hope　so；　but　I've　never　known　an　old　Egyptian。　At　the　Temple；　the　Priests　were　Roman。　Besides；　if　we　take　the　dreams　and　lay　them　out；　what　is　the　pattern　there？　Why　is　the　Queen　weeping？　Why　does　the　sun　kill　me？　The　Queen　is　in　fetters。　The　Queen　is　a　prisoner。　The　Queen　is　in　agony！〃
　〃Stop。〃　The　Priestess　shuddered。　Then　she　put　her　arms　around　me；　as　if　it　was　she　who　needed　me。　I　felt　her　stiff　linen　and　the　thick　hair　of　her　wig；　and　beneath　it　the　hurried　pounding　of　her　heart。　〃No；〃　she　said。　〃You're　possessed　of　a　demon；　and　we　can　drive　this　demon　out　of　you！　Maybe　the　way　was　opened　for　this　wretched　demon　when　your　Father　was　attacked　at　his　own　Hearth。〃
　〃You　really　believe　it's　possible？〃　I　asked。
　〃Listen；〃　she　said　as　casually　now　as　one　of　the　women　outside。　〃I　want　you　to　be　bathed；　to　have　fresh　garments。　This　money；　what　portion　can　you　give　me？　If　none；　we　will　provide　all　for　you。　We　are　rich　here。〃
　〃Here's　plenty。　I　don't　care。〃　I　pulled　the　purse　loose　from　my　girdle。
　〃I　will　have　everything　done　for　you。　Fresh　clothes。　This　silk　is　too　fragile。〃
　〃You　are　telling　me！〃　I　said。
　〃This　mantle　is　torn。　Your　hair　is　unbed。〃
　I　spilled　out　a　dozen　or　so　gold　coins；　more　than　I　had　paid　for　Flavius。
　It　shocked　her；　but　she　covered　up　the　shock　very　quickly。　Suddenly　she　stared　at　me；　and　her　painted　mask　managed　to　make　a　flexible　expression；　a　frown。　I　thought　it　might　crack。
　I　thought　she　might　weep。　I　was　being　a　regular　expert　in　making　people　weep。　Mia　and　Lia　had　wept。　Flavius　had　wept。　Now　she　was　going　to　cry。　The　Queen　in　the　dream　was　crying！
　I　laughed　in　madness；　throwing　back　my　head；　but　then　I　saw　the　Queen！　I　saw　her　in　distant　wavery　recollection；　and　I　felt　such　sorrow　that　I　too　could　have　cried。　My　mockery　was　blasphemy。　It　was　a　lie　unto　myself。
　〃Take　the　gold　for　the　Temple；〃　I　said。　〃Take　it　for　new　clothes；　for　all　I　need。　But　my　offering　to　the　goddess；　I　want　it　to　be　flowers；　and　bread；　warm　from　the　oven；　a　small　loaf。〃
　〃Very　good；〃　she　said　with　an　eager　nod。　〃That　is　what　Isis　wants。　She　wants　no　blood。　No！　No　blood！〃
　She　started　to　help　me　up。
　I　paused。　〃In　the　dream；　you　understand　that　she　weeps。　She　is　not　happy　with　these　blood　drinkers；　she　protests；　she　objects。　She　herself　is　not　the　one　who　drinks　blood。〃
　The　Priestess　was　confounded；　and　then　she　nodded。　〃Yes；　that　is　obvious；　is　it　not？〃
　〃I　too　protest　and　suer；〃　I　said。
　〃Yes；　e；〃　she　said　leading　me　through　a　thick　tall　door。　She　left　me　in　the　hands　of　the　Temple　slaves。　I　was　relieved。　I　was　weary。
　I　was　taken　into　the　ceremonial　bath；　cleansed　by　Temple　maidens　and　re…dressed　carefully　by　Temple　maidens。
　What　a　pleasure　to　have　it　all　done　right。
　For　a　little　while　I　wondered　helplessly　if　they　would　frame　me　in　white　pleats　and　black　plaits　but　they　used　the　Roman　style。
　My　hair　was　properly　done　by　these　girls　in　a　correct　circlet　that　would　hold；　leaving　a　generous　frame　of　ringlets　around　the　face。
　The　clothes　given　me　were　new　and　made　of　fine　linen。　Flowers　had　been　stitched　along　the　borders。　This　finery；　so　precise；　so　minute；　seemed　more　valuable　than　gold。
　It　certainly　gave　more　joy　to　me　than　gold。
　I　felt　so　tired！　I　was　so　grateful。
　The　girls　then　made　up　my　face　more　artfully　than　I　could　have　done　it；　and　more　in　the　Egyptian　style；　and　I　flinched　when　I　saw　myself　in　the　mirror。　…　Flinched。　It　wasn't　the　full　paint　of　the　Priestess；