the stainless steel rat-第31部分

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　her。　〃Are　you　men　all　alikeall　the　same…？〃
　　　　　〃Nonsense！〃　I　shouted；　angered　in　spite　of　myself。　〃You　wanted　me　to　kiss　youdon't　deny　it！　What　changed　your　mind？〃　
　　　　　〃Would　you　want　to　kiss　her？〃　Angelina　screamed；　torn　by　emotions　I　couldn't　understand。　She　pulled　at　a　thin　chain　around　her　neck。　It　snapped　and　she　half　threw　it　at　me。　There　was　a　tiny　locket　on　the　chain；　still　warm　from　her　body。　It　had　an　image　enlarger　in　it；　and　when　held　at　the　right　angle　the　picture　inside　could　be　seen　clearly。　I　had　the　chance　for　only　a　single　glimpse　at　the　girl　in　the　photograph；　then　Angelina　changed　her　mind　and　pulled　it　away；　pushing　me　towards　the　door　at　the　same　time。　It　slammed　behind　me　and　I　heard　the　heavy　safety　bolts　thud　home。
　　　　　Ignoring　the　guard's　raised　eyebrows　I　stamped　down　the　hall　to　my　own　room。　My　emotions　had　triumphed　nicely　over　my　powers　of　reason；　and　apparently　Angelina's　had　toofor　just　an　instant。　Yet　I　couldn't　understand　her　cold　withdrawal　or　the　significance　of　the　picture。　Why　did　she　wear　it？
　　　　　I　had　only　had　a　single　glimpse　of　the　contents　but　that　was　enough。　It　was　the　photo　of　a　young　girl；　a　sister　perhaps？　A　tragic　thing；　one　of　those　horrible　proofs　of　the　law　of　chance　that　an　almost　infinite　number　of　binations　are　possible。　This　girl　was　cursed　with　ugliness；　that　is　the　only　way　to　describe　it。　It　was　no　single　factor　of　a　bent　back；　adenoidal　jaw　or　protruding　nose。　Instead　it　was　the　damning　bination　of　traits　that　bined　to　form　a　single；　repellent　whole。　I　didn't　like　it。　But　what　did　it　matter。。。。
　　　　　I　sat　down　suddenly　with　the　clear　realization　that　I　was　being　incredibly　stupid。　Angelina　had　given　me　a　simple　brief　glimpse　into　the　dark　motivations　that　had　made　her；　shaped　her　life。　
　　　　　Of　course。　The　girl　in　the　picture　was　Angelina　herself。
　　　　　With　this　realization　so　many　other　things　became　clear。　Many　times　when　looking　at　her　I　had　wondered　why　that　deadly　mind　should　be　housed　in　such　an　attractive　package。　The　answer　was　clearly　that　I　wasn't　looking　at　the　original　package　that　had　shaped　the　mind。　To　be　a　man　and　to　be　ugly　is　bad　enough。　What　must　it　feel　like　to　a　woman？　How　do　you　live　when　mirrors　are　your　enemies　and　people　turn　away　rather　than　look　at　you？　How　do　you　bear　life　when　at　the　same　time　you　are　blessedor　cursedwith　a　keen　and　intelligent　mind　that　sees　and　is　aware　of　everything；　makes　the　inescapable　conclusions　and　misses　not　the　slightest　hint　of　repulsion。
　　　　　Some　girls　might　mit　suicide；　but　not　Angelina。　I　could　guess　what　she　had　done。　Hating　herself；　loathing　and　detesting　her　world　and　the　people　on　it；　she　would　have　had　no　punction　about　mitting　a　crime　to　gain　the　money　she　wanted。　Money　for　an　operation　to　correct　one　of　those　imperfections。　Then　more　money　for　more　operations。　Then　someone　who　dared　to　stop　her　in　this　task；　and　the　ease　and　perhaps　pleasure　with　which　she　killed　him。　The　slow　upward　climb　through　crime　and　murderto　beauty。　And　during　the　climb　the　wonderful　brain　that　had　been　housed　in　the　illformed　flesh　had　been　warped　and　changed。
　　　　　Poor　Angelina。　I　could　be　sorry　for　her　without　forgetting　the　ones　she　had　killed。　Poor；　tragic；　a　lone　girl　who　in　winning　half　the　battle　had　lost　the　other　half。　Purchased　skill　had　shaped　the　body　into　a　lovelytruthfully　an　angelicform。　Yet　in　succeeding；　the　strength　of　the　mind　that　had　acplished　all　this　had　been　deformed　until　it　had　been　made　as　ugly　as　the　body　had　been　in　the　beginning。
　　　　　Yet　if　you　could　change　a　bodycouldn't　you　change　a　mind？　Could　something　be　done　for　her？
　　　　　The　very　pressure　and　magnitude　of　my　thoughts　drove　me　out　of　the　small　room　and　into　the　air。　It　was　nearing　midnight　and　the　guards　would　be　stationed　below　and　all　the　doors　locked。　Rather　than　face　the　explanations　and　simple　mechanical　difficulties；　I　climbed　upwards　instead。　There　would　be　no　one　in　the　roof　gardens　and　walkways　this　time　of　night；　I　could　be　alone。
　　　　　Freibur　has　no　moon；　but　it　was　a　clear　night　and　the　stars　cast　enough　light　to　see　by。　The　roof　guard　saluted　when　I　went　by；　and　I　could　see　the　red　spark　of　a　cigarette　in　his　hand。　I　should　have　said　something　about　it；　but　my　mind　was　too　occupied。　Passing　on　I　turned　a　corner　and　stood　leaning　on　the　parapet；　looking　out　unseeingly　at　the　black　bulk　of　the　mountains。
　Something　kept　gnawing　for　attention　and　after　a　few　minutes　I　recognized　what　it　was。　The　guard。　He　was　there　for　a　purpose　and　smoking　on　duty　wasn't　considered　the　best　behavior　for　a　sentry。　Perhaps　I　was　being　finicky；　but　it　is　a　failing　of　mine。　Take　care　of　all　the　small　factors　and　the　big　ones　take　care　of　themselves。　In　any　case；　simply　thinking　about　it　was　bothering　me；　so　I　might　as　well　go　around　and　say　a　word　to　him。
　　　　　He　wasn't　at　his　usual　post；　which　was　optimistic；　at　least　he　was　making　the　rounds　and　keeping　an　eye　on　things。　I　started　to　walk　back　when　I　noticed　the　broken　flowers　hanging　from　the　edge　of　the　garden。　This　was　most　unusual　because　the　roof　gardens　were　the　Count's　special　pleasure　and　were　practically　manicured　daily。　Then　I　saw　the　dark　patch　in　among　the　flowers　and　had　the　first　intimation　that　something　was　very；　very　wrong。
　　　　　It　was　the　guard；　and　he　was　either　dead　or　deeply　unconscious。　I　didn't　bother　to　find　out　which。　There　was　only　one　reason　I　could　think　of　for　someone　to　be　here　at　night　like　this。　Angelina。　Her　loom　was　on　the　top　floor；　almost　below　this　spot。　Silently　I　ran　to　the　decorative　railing　and　looked　over。　Five　meters　below　was　the　white　patch　of　the　balcony　outside　her　window。　Something　black　and　formless　was　crouched　there。
　　　　　My　gun　was　in　my　room。　For　one　of　the　few　times　in　my　life　I　had　been　so　disturbed　that　my　normal　precautions　were　forgotten。　My　concern　over　Angelina　was　going　to　cost　her　her　life。
　　　　　All　of　this　I　realized　in　a　fraction　of　a　second　as　my　fingers　ran　along　the　balustrade。　A　shiny　blob　was　fixed　there；　anchoring　a　strand　so　thin　that　it　was　invisible；　yet　I　knew　was　as　strong　as　a　cable。　The　assassin　had　lowered　himself　with　web　spinner；　a　tiny　device　that　spun　a　thin　strand　like　a　spider。　Only　the　strand's　substance　was　formed　of　a　single　long…chain　molecule　that　could　support　a　man's　weight。　It　would　slice　my　hands　like　the　sharpest　blade　if　I　tried　to　slide　down　it。
　　　　　There　was　only　one　way　I　could　reach　that　balcony；　a　tiny　square　above　the　two…kilometer　drop　into　the　valley　below。　I　made　the　decision　even　as　I　was　leaping　up　onto　the　rail。　It　had　a　wide　flat　top　and　I　sat　for　an　instant　to　catch　my　balance。　Below　me　the　window　swung　open　noiselessly　and　I　dropped；　my　heels　extended；　aiming　for　the　man　below。
　　　　　I　turned　in　the　air　and　instead　of　hitting　him　squarely　I　caromed　off　his　shoulder　and　we　both　sprawled　onto　the　balcony。　It　shivered　under　the　impact；　but　the　ancient　stone　held。　The　fall　had　half…stunned　me；　and　with　pain…blurred　reasoning　I　hoped　that　his　shoulder　felt　as　bad　as　my　leg。　For　a　few　moments　I　could　do　nothing　but　gasp　for　breath　and　try　to　scramble　towards　him。　A　long；　thin　bladed　knife　had　been　knocked　from　his　hand　by　the　impact　and　I　could　see　it　glittering　where　he　reached　for　it。　His　fingers　clutched　it　just　as　I　attacked。　He　grunted　and　made　a　vicious　stab　at　me　that　brushed　my　sleeve。　Before　he　could　draw　back　I　had　his　knife　wrist　in　my　hand　and　clamped　on。
　　　　　It　was　a　silent；　nightmare　battle。　Both　of　us　were　half…dazed　from　my　drop；　yet　we　knew　it　was　life　we　were　battling　for。　I　couldn't　stand　because　of　my　bruised　leg　and　he　was　instantly　on　top　of　me；　heavier　and　stronger。　He　couldn't　use　the　arm　I　had　landed　on；　but　it　took　all　the　strength　of　both　my　arms　to　hold　away　the　menacing　blade。　There　was　no　sound　other　than　our　hoarse　panting。
　　　　　This　assassin　was　going　to　win　as　weight　and　remorseless　strength　brought　the　knife　down。　Sweat　almost　blinded　me；　but　I　could　still　see　well　enough　to　notice　the　twisted　way　his　other　arm　hung。　I　had　broken　a　bone　when　I　hityet　he　had　never　made　a　sound。
　　　　　There　is　no　such　thing　as　fair　fighting　when　you　are　struggling　for　your　life。　I　squirmed　my　leg　out　from　under　him　and　managed　to　bend　it