jamesclavell.noblehouse-第204部分

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e　was。
　They　must　have　drugged　me；　he　thought。　His　mouth　was　parched；　his　head　ached；　and　he　lay　back　on　the　mattress　that　was　slimy　to　his　touch　and　tried　to　collect　himself。　Vaguely　he　remembered　being　in　Armstrong's　office　and　before　that　with　Crosse　discussing　the　16/2　but　after　that　not　much；　just　waking　in　this　darkness；　groping　for　the　walls　to　get　his　bearings；　feeling　them　close　by；　biting　back　the　terror　of　knowing　he　was　betrayed　and　defenseless　in　the　bowels　of　Central　Police　HQ　within　a　box　with　no　windows　and　a　door　somewhere。　Then；　exhaustedly　sleeping　and　waking　and　angry　voices　…　or　did　I　dream　that　…　and　then　sleeping　again　。。。　no；　eating　first；　didn't　I　eat　first　。。。　yes；　slop　they　called　dinner　and　cold　tea　。。。　e　on；　think！　It's　important　to　think　and　to　remember　。。。　Yes；　I　remember；　it　was　bedraggled　stew　and　cold　tea　then；　later；　breakfast。　Eggs。　Was　it　eggs　first　or　the　stew　first　and　。。。　yes　the　lights　came　on　for　a　moment　each　time　I　ate；　just　enough　time　to　eat　。。。　no；　the　lights　went　off　and　each　time　I　finished　in　darkness；　I　remember　finishing　in　darkness　and　hating　to　eat　in　darkness　and　then　I　peed　in　the　pail　in　darkness；　got　back　onto　the　mattress　and　lay　down　again。
　How　long　have　I　been　here？　Must　count　the　days。　Wearily　he　swung　his　legs　off　the　cot　and　stumbled　to　a　wall；　his　limbs　aching　to　match　his　head。　Got　to　exercise；　he　thought；　got　to　help　work　the　drugs　out　of　my　system　and　get　my　head　clear　and　ready　for　the　interrogation。　Must　get　my　mind　ready　for　when　they　go　at　me；　really　begin　…　when　they　think　I've　softened　up　…　then　they'll　keep　me　awake　until　they　break　me。
　No；　they　won't　break　me。　I'm　strong　and　prepared　and　I　know　some　of　the　pitfalls。
　Who　gave　me　away？
　The　effort　to　solve　that　was　too　much　for　him　so　he　mustered　his　strength　and　did　a　few　weak　knee　bends。　Then　he　heard　muffled　footsteps　approaching。　Hastily　he　groped　back　for　the　cot　and　lay　down；　pretending　sleep；　his　heart　hurting　in　his　chest　as　he　held　down　his　terror。
　The　footsteps　stopped。　A　sudden　bolt　clanged　back　and　a　trapdoor　opened。　A　shaft　of　light　came　into　the　cell　and　a　half…seen　hand　put　down　a　metal　plate　and　a　metal　cup。
　〃Eat　your　breakfast　and　hurry　up；〃　the　voice　said　in　Cantonese。　〃You're　due　for　more　interrogation　shortly。〃
　〃Listen；　I　want　。。。〃　Brian　Kwok　called　out　but　the　trapdoor　had　already　clanged　back　and　he　was　alone　in　the　darkness　with　the　echo　of　his　own　words。
　Keep　calm；　he　ordered　himself。　Calm　yourself　and　think。
　Abruptly　the　cell　flooded　with　light。　The　light　hurt　his　eyes。　When　he　had　adjusted　he　saw　that　the　light　came　from　fixtures　in　the　ceiling　high　above；　and　he　remembered　seeing　them　before。　The　walls　were　dark；　almost　black；　and　seemed　to　be　pressing　inward　on　him。　Don't　worry　about　them；　he　thought。　You've　seen　the　dark　cells　before　and　though　you've　never　been　part　of　an　in…depth　interrogation　you　know　the　principles　and　some　of　the　tricks。
　A　surge　of　nausea　came　into　his　mouth　at　the　thought　of　the　ordeal　ahead。
　The　door　was　hardly　discernible　and　the　trapdoor　equally　hidden。　He　could　feel　eyes　though　he　could　see　no　spyholes。　On　the　plate　were　two　fried　eggs　and　a　thick　piece　of　rough　bread。　The　bread　was　a　little　toasted。　The　eggs　were　cold　and　greasy　and　unappetizing。　In　the　cup　was　cold　tea。　There　were　no　utensils。
　He　drank　the　tea　thirstily；　trying　to　make　it　last；　but　it　was　finished　before　he　knew　it　and　the　small　amount　had　not　quenched　his　thirst。　Dew　neh　loh　moh　what　I　wouldn't　give　for　a　toothbrush　and　a　bottle　of　beer　an…　
　The　lights　went　out　as　suddenly　as　they　had　e　on。　It　took　him　much　time　to　adjust　again　to　the　darkness。　Be　calm；　it's　just　darkness　and　light；　light　and　darkness。　It's　just　to　confuse　and　disorient。　Be　calm。　Take　each　day　as　it　es；　each　interrogation　as　it　es。
　His　terror　returned。　He　knew　he　was　not　really　prepared；　not　experienced　enough；　though　he　had　had　some　survival　training　against　capture；　what　to　do　if　the　enemy　captured　you；　the　PRC　munist　enemy。　But　the　PRC's　not　the　enemy。　The　real　enemy　are　the　British　and　Canadians　who've　pretended　to　be　friend　and　teacher；　they're　the　real　enemy。
　Don't　think　about　that；　don't　try　to　convince　yourself；　just　try　to　convince　them。
　I　have　to　hold　fast。　Have　to　pretend　it's　a　mistake　for　as　long　as　I　can　and　then；　then　I　tell　the　story　I've　woven　over　the　years　and　confuse　them。　That's　duty。
　His　thirst　was　overpowering。　And　his　hunger。
　Brian　Kwok　wanted　to　hurl　the　empty　cup　against　the　wall　and　the　plate　against　the　wall　and　shout　and　call　for　help　but　that　would　be　a　mistake。　He　knew　he　must　have　great　control　and　keep　every　particle　of　strength　he　could　muster　to　fight　back。
　Use　your　head。　Use　your　training。　Put　theory　into　practice。　Think　about　the　survival　course　last　year　in　England。　Now　what　do　I　do？
　He　remembered　that　part　of　the　survival　theory　was　that　you　must　eat　and　drink　and　sleep　whenever　you　can　for　you　never　know　when　they　will　cut　off　food　and　drink　and　sleep　from　you。　And　to　use　your　eyes　and　nose　and　touch　and　intelligence　to　keep　track　of　time　in　the　dark　and　remember　that　your　captors　will　always　make　a　mistake　sometime；　and　if　you　can　catch　the　mistake　you　can　relate　to　time；　and　if　you　can　relate　to　time　then　you　can　keep　in　balance　and　then　you　can　twist　them　and　not　divulge　that　which　must　not　be　divulged　…　exact　names　and　real　contacts。　Pit　your　mind　against　them　was　the　rule。　Keep　active；　force　yourself　to　observe。
　Have　they　made　any　mistakes？　Have　these　devil　barbarian　British　slipped　yet？　Only　once；　he　thought　excitedly。　The　eggs！　The　stupid　British　and　their　eggs　for　breakfast！
　Feeling　better　now　and　wide　awake；　he　eased　off　the　cot　and　groped　his　way　to　the　metal　plate　and　put　the　cup　down　gently　beside　it。　The　eggs　were　cold　and　the　grease　congealed　but　he　chewed　them　and　finished　the　bread　and　felt　a　little　better　for　the　food。　Eating　with　his　fingers　in　darkness　was　strange　and　unfortable　especially　with　nothing　to　wipe　his　fingers　on　except　his　own　nakedness。
　A　shudder　went　through　him。　He　felt　abandoned　and　unclean。　His　bladder　was　unfortable　and　he　felt　his　way　to　the　pail　that　was　attached　to　the　wall。　The　pail　stank。
　With　an　index　finger　he　deftly　measured　the　level　in　the　pail。　It　was　partially　full。　He　emptied　himself　into　it　and　measured　the　new　level。　His　mind　calculated　the　difference。　If　they　haven't　added　to　it　to　confuse　me；　I've　peed　three　or　four　times。　Twice　a　day？　Or　four　times　a　day？
　He　rubbed　his　soiled　finger　against　his　chest　and　that　made　him　feel　dirtier　but　it　was　important　to　use　everything　and　anything　to　keep　balanced　and　time　related。　He　lay　down　again。　Out　of　touch　with　light　or　dark　or　day　or　night　was　nauseating。　A　wave　of　sickness　came　from　his　stomach　but　he　dominated　it　and　forced　himself　to　remember　the　Brian　Kwok　who　they；　the　enemy；　thought　was　Brian　Kar…shun　Kwok　and　not　the　other　man；　the　almost　forgotten　man　whose　parentage　was　Wu；　his　generation　name　Pah　and　his　adult　name　Chu…toy。
　He　remembered　Ning…tok　and　his　father　and　mother　and　being　sent　to　school　to　Hong　Kong　on　his　sixth　birthday；　wanting　to　learn　and　to　grow　up　to　bee　a　patriot　like　his　parents　and　the　uncle　he　had　seen　flogged　to　death　in　his　village　square　for　being　a　patriot。　He　had　learned　from　his　Hong　Kong　relations　that　patriot　and　munist　were　the　same　and　not　enemies　of　the　State。　That　the　Kuomintang　overlords　were　just　as　evil　as　the　foreign　devils　who　had　forced　the　unequal　treaties　on　China；　and　the　only　true　patriot　was　he　who　followed　the　teachings　of　Mao　Tse…tung。　Being　sworn　into　the　first　of　many　secret　Brotherhoods；　working　to　be　the　best　for　the　cause　of　China　and　Mao　which　was　the　cause　of　China；　learning　from　secret　teachers；　knowing　he　was　part　of　the　new　great　wave　of　revolution　that　would　take　back　control　of　China　from　foreign　devils　and　their　lackeys；　and　sweep　them　into　the　sea　forever。
　Winning　that　scholarship！　At　twelve！
　Oh　how　proud　his　secret　teachers　had　been。　Then　going　to　barbarian　lands；　now　perfect　in　their　language　and　safe　against　their　evil　thoughts　and　ways；　going　to　London；　the　capital　of　the　greatest　empire　the　world　has　ever　seen；　knowing　it　was　go