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'Windsor Farms。 I'll show you when we get there��' I choked as I said。
'Fights。' He shook his head。 'Dontcha hate'em�拭�I 'member one time me and the wife got to arguing in one these all´you´can´eat fish camps。 She takes the car。 Me�察�I take a hike。 Five miles home through a bad part of town。'
He was nodding�察�eyeing me in the rearview mirror as he assumed that Marino and I were having a lovers' quarrel。
'So�察�you're married to a cop��' he then said。 'I saw him drive in。 Not an unmarked car on the road that can fool this guy。' He thumped his chest。
My head was splitting�察�my face burning。 I settled back in the seat and shut my eyes while he droned on about an earlier life in Philadelphia�察�and his hopes that this winter would not bring much snow。 I settled into a feverish sleep。 When I awoke�察�I did not know where I was。
'Ma'am。 Ma'am。 We're here��' the driver was saying loudly to wake me up。 'Where to next��'
He had just turned onto Canterbury and was sitting at a stop sign。
'Up here�察�take a right on Dover��' I replied。
I directed him into my neighborhood�察�the look on his face increasingly baffled as he drove past Georgian and Tudor estates behind walls in the city's wealthiest neighborhood。 When he stopped at my front door�察�he stared at fieldstone�察�at the wooded land around my home�察�and he watched me closely as I climbed out。
'Don't worry��' he said as I handed him a twenty and told him to keep the change。 'I seen it all lady�察�and never say nothing。' He zipped his lips�察�winking at me。
I was a rich man's wife having a tempestuous affair with a detective。
'A good credo��' I said�察�coughing。
The burglar alarm weled me with its warning beep�察�and never in my life had I been more relieved to be home。 I wasted no time getting out of my scalded clothes�察�and straight into a hot shower�察�where I inhaled steam and tried to clear the rattle from my lungs。 When I was wrapping up in a thick terry cloth robe�察�the telephone rang。 It was exactly four P。M。
'Dr Scarpetta��' It was Fielding。
'I just got home��' I said。
'You don't sound good。'
'I'm not。'
'Well�察�my news isn't going to help��' he said。 'They've got possibly two more cases on Tangier。'
'Oh no��' I said。
'A mother and daughter。 Fever of a hundred and five�察�a rash。 CDC's deployed a team with bed isolators�察�the whole nine yards。'
'How's Wingo��' I asked。
He paused�察�as if puzzled。 'Fine。 Why��'
'He helped with the torso��' I reminded him。
'Oh yeah。 Well�察�he's the same as always。'
Relieved�察�I sat down and shut my eyes。
'What's going on with the samples you took to Atlanta��' Fielding asked。
'They're doing tests�察�I hope�察�with what few people they can muster now。'
'So we still don't know what this is。'
'Jack�察�everything points to smallpox��' I said to him。 'That's the way it looks so far。'
'I've never seen it。 Have you��'
'Not before now。 Maybe leprosy is worse。 It's bad enough to die of a disease�察�but to be disfigured in the process is cruel。' I coughed again and was very thirsty。 'I'll see you in the morning�察�and we'll figure out what we're going to do。'
'It doesn't sound to me like you should be going anywhere。'
'You're absolutely right。 And I don't have a choice。'
I hung up and tried Bret Martin at CDC�察�but his phone was answered by voice mail�察�and he did not call me back。 I also left a message for Fujitsubo�察�but he did not return my call�察�either�察�and I figured he was at home�察�like most of his colleagues。 The budget war raged on。
'Damn��' I swore as I put a kettle of water on the stove and dug in a cupboard for tea。 'Damn�察�damn�察�damn。'
It was not quite five when I called Wesley。 At Quantico�察�at least�察�people were still working。
'Thank God someone is answering the phones somewhere��' I blurted out to his secretary。
'They haven't figured out how nonessential I am yet��' she said。
'Is he in��' I asked。
Wesley got on the phone�察�and sounded so energetic and cheery that it instantly got on my nerves。
'You have no right to feel this good��' I said。
'You have the flu。'
'I don't know what I've got。'
'That's what it is�察�right��' He was worried and his mood went bad。
'I don't know。 We can only assume。'
'I don't mean to be an alarmist 。 。 。'
'Then don't��' I cut him off。
'Kay��' his voice was firm。 'You've got to face this。 What if it's not��'
I said nothing because I could not bear to think such thoughts。
'Please��' he said。 'Don't blow this off。 Don't pretend it's nothing like you do with most things in your life。'
'Now you're making me mad��' I snapped。 'I fly into this goddamn airport and Marino doesn't want me in his car so I take a taxi and the driver thinks we're having an affair and my rich husband doesn't know�察�and all the while I have a fever and hurt like hell and just want to go home。'
'The taxi driver thinks you're having an affair��'
'Just forget it。'
'How do you know you've got the flu�拭�That it's not something else��'
'I don't have a rash。 Is that what you want to hear��'
There was a long silence。 Then he said�察�'What if you get one��'
'Then I'm probably going to die�察�Benton。' I coughed again。 'You'll probably never touch me again。 And I'd never want you to see me again�察�if it goes its course。 It's easier to worry about stalkers�察�serial killers�察�people you can blow away with a gun。 But the invisible ones are who I've always feared。 They take you on a sunny day in a public place。 They slide in with your lemonade。 I've been vaccinated for hepatitis B。 But that's just one killer in a huge population。 What about tuberculosis and HIV�察�and Hanta and Ebola�拭�What about this�拭�God。' I took a deep breath。 'It started with a torso and I did not know。'
'I heard about the two new cases��' he said�察�and his voice had gotten quiet and gentle。 'I can be there in two hours。 Do you want to see me��'
'Right now I don't want to see anyone。'
'Doesn't matter。 I'm on my way。'
'Benton��' I said�察�'don't。'
But he had his mind made up�察�and when he pulled into my driveway in his throaty BMW�察�it was almost midnight。 I met him at the door�察�and we did not touch。
'Let's sit in front of the fire��' he said。
We did�察�and he was kind enough to make me another cup of decaffeinated tea。 I sat on the couch�察�he was in a side chair�察�and flames fed by gas enveloped an artificial log。 I had turned the lights low。
'I don't doubt your theory��' he said as he lingered over cognac。
'Maybe tomorrow�察�we'll know more。' I was perspiring as I shivered�察�staring into the fire。
'Right now I don't give a shit about any of that。' He looked fiercely at me。
'You have to give a shit about that。' I wiped my brow with a sleeve。
'No。'
I was silent as he stared at me。
'What I care about is you��' he said。
Still�察�I did not respond。
'Kay。' He gripped my arm。
'Don't touch me�察�Benton。' I shut my eyes。 'Don't。 I don't want you sick�察�too。'
'See�察�and that's convenient for you。 To be sick。 And I can't touch you。 And you the noble doctor caring more about my well´being than your own。'
I was quiet�察�determined not to cry。
'Convenient。 You want to be sick right now so nobody can get close。 Marino won't even give you a ride home。 And I can't put my hands on you。 And Lucy won't see you and a Janet has to talk to you behind glass。'
'What is your point��' I looked at him。
'Functional illness。'
'Oh。 I guess you studied that in school。 Maybe during your master's in psychology or something。'
'Don't make fun of me。'
'I never have。'
I could feel his hurt as I turned my face to the fire�察�my eyes closed tight。
'Kay。 Don't you die on me。'
I did not speak。
'Don't you dare。' His voice shook。 'Don't you dare��'
'You won't get off the hook that easy��' I said�察�getting out of my chair。 'Let's go to bed。'
He slept in the room where Lucy usually stayed�察�and I was up most of the night coughing and trying to get fortable�察�which simply was not possible。 The next morning at half past six he was up�察�and coffee was brewing when I walked into the kitchen。 Light filtered through trees beyond windows�察�and I could tell by the tight curl of rhododendron leaves that it was bitterly cold。
'I'm cooking��' Wesley announced。 'What will it be��'
'I don't think I can。' I was weak�察�and when I