el.angeleyes-第122部分

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　Russell　looked　thoughtful。　〃You　know；　I　don't　believe　I'll　ever　really　understand　what　happened　between　you　and　Koi。　What　kind　of　bond　could　there　possibly　have　been　between　the　two　of　you？　Frankly；　it　scares　me　to　think　that　you　could　have　related　to　anything　about　her。〃
　〃Oh；　Russ；　there　was　a　whole　other　side　of　Koi　you　never　saw。''
　〃Koi　was　a　stone　killer。〃
　〃So　am　I。〃
　〃She　enjoyed　torturing　Deke。〃
　〃There　you're　wrong；〃　Tori　said。　〃When　she　tortured　Deke；　she　was　torturing　herself。　She　loathed　what　she　did；　but　she　felt　she　was　cursed；　that　she　deserved　to　be　loathed…by　everyone。　Someone　like　that　is　to　be　pitied；　not　despised。〃
　〃She　had　to　be　stopped　from　repeating　what　she　did　to　Deke。''
　〃I　stopped　her；　Russ。〃　Tori's　eyes　held　his　as　if　in　an　invisible　vise。　〃And　that　felt　good…1　can't　tell　you　how　good…because　I　didn't　have　to　resort　to　killing　her。〃
　He　nodded。　〃I　can　see　that；　sure。　But…〃
　〃Look；　Russ；　Koi　was　driven　by　demons。　Maybe　they　weren't　the　exact　same　demons　that　drive　Bernard；　but　they're　close　enough。　Do　you　think　Bernard　is　any　less　haunted　than　Koi　was？　The　only　difference　between　them　is　that　Bernard　has　found　a　way　to　live　with　his　demons。〃
　〃But　don't　you　see　that　in　time　Koi　would　have　bee　another　Fukuda？〃
　〃And　what　has　Bernard　Godwin　bee　over　time；　Russ？　Can　you　answer　that　with　any　degree　of　certainty？　No？　Then　I'll　tell　you。　Bernard　is　as　much　a　stone　killer　as　Koi　was。〃
　〃But　his　motives　are　so　altruistic…〃
　〃That's　Mall　Central　thinking；〃　Tori　said。　〃Motives　don't　count　here…morality　does。　At　least　Koi　had　the　courage　to　face　what　she　had　bee…〃
　〃And　killed　herself。〃　He　shook　his　head。　〃I　don't　understand　a　person　who　prefers　death　to　life。〃
　〃Preference　has　nothing　to　do　with　it。〃　Tori's　eyes　blazed。　〃Death　was　an　atonement　for　her　sins。　For　Koi；　to　die　in　so　honorable　a　fashion　as　seppuku　was　to　cleanse　her　spirit。　If　I　pare　her　to　Bernard；　I　think　she　had　the　right　idea。''
　Russell　rose。　〃All　this　talk　of　death　is　making　me　claustrophobic。〃　He　went　off　to　the　head。
　Tori　looked　out　the　Perspex　window；　stared　at　nothing。　〃Christ！〃　she　breathed。　〃How　can　he　be　so　obtuse　when　he's　also　so　insightful？〃
　Then　she　shook　her　head；　followed　him。　She　wanted　him　to　understand；　to　at　last　grasp　a　concept　that　was　not　grounded　in　logic；　mathematics；　binary　languages。
　〃Russell。〃
　For　an　unbearably　long　moment　they　stared　at　each　other。　Then　Russell　grabbed　her　shirtfront；　pulled　her　inside　the　head；　hard　against　him。　〃Nothing's　going　to　save　you　now；〃　he　said　hoarsely　just　before　his　lips　came　down　over　hers。
　〃I　don't　want　to　be　saved；〃　she　moaned　into　him。
　Tori's　mouth　opened　and　her　tongue　twined　with　his。　Her　back　was　arched　and　her　breasts　were　crushed　against　him。　She　felt　dizzy　and　weak；　as　if　she　had　lost　all　strength　in　her　upper　body。　At　the　same　time；　her　legs　felt　heavy；　as　if　they　were　buried　in　sand。　Her　thighs　were　on　fire；　and　she　could　not　seem　to　catch　her　breath。
　Russell　was　pulling　apart　her　blouse；　his　hands　running　roughly　over　her　breasts。　She　moaned　into　his　mouth　as　he　found　her　nipples。
　She　could　not　wait；　her　own　hands　searching　for　his　belt　and　fly；　frantically　pulling　down　his　trousers；　feeling　him　rise　deli…ciously　into　her　hand；　cramming　him　beneath　her　short　skirt；　her　other　hand　pulling　aside　her　underclothes；　ramming　him　full　length　inside　her。
　They　both　cried　out　at　the　same　time；　and　Russell　slammed　her　repeatedly　against　the　bulkhead。　If　they　were　making　noise；　neither　of　them　cared；　if　they　were　to　be　discovered；　it　did　not　matter。　They　were　beyond　caring　about　anything　but　their　joined　hot　flesh；　their　liquid　union；　the　mutual　fire　that　threatened　to　consume　them。
　Tori　felt　filled　to　overflowing。　She　wrapped　her　arms　around　his　head；　filled　the　spaces　between　her　fingers　with　his　thick　hair。
　〃Russ；　Russ；　oh！〃
　His　mouth　was　at　her　throat；　the　sides　of　her　neck；　her　ears；　her　jaw。　He　gathered　her　hard　breasts　in　his　hands；　squeezing　them　as　he　hammered　at　her　until　Tori　almost　fainted　with　pleasure。
　Her　eyes　were　closed；　she　rubbed　her　face　against　the　coarseness　of　his　cheeks；　and　jolts　of　electricity　penetrated　all　the　way　into　her　lower　belly。
　She　could　feel　the　tension　e　into　him　in　increments；　not　the　tension　of　conflict　and　strife　with　which　she　had　bee　all　too　familiar；　but　the　tiny　ribbonings　of　a　luscious　tautness　in　the　last　few　indescribable　moments　before　release；　a　desire　to　drown　in　bliss。
　Then　he　groaned；　deep　in　his　throat；　a　growl；　really；　drawn　out　and　heartfelt；　and　she　felt　him　draw　in　against　her　so　tightly　that　she　could　not　breathe　as　he　convulsed。　This；　in　turn；　set　her　off；　her　eyes　flying　open；　her　mouth　gasping；　all　thought　obliterated。
　Then；　all　too　quickly；　he　was　sliding　out　of　her。
　〃No；〃　she　moaned。　〃Oh；　no。　Not　yet。〃
　But　he　had　dropped　to　his　knees；　his　mouth　found　her；　burrowing　in　and　up；　his　tongue　like　an　adder　flicking　at　the　core　of　her；　and　she　almost　screamed。
　She　worked　her　hips　around　and　around；　her　hands　on　either　side　of　his　head；　lovingly　stroking　him　as　she　shuddered　again　and　again；　her　upper　torso　folded　over　him；　her　legs　shaking　and　jerking；　her　head　heavy；　spinning　in　the　full　flux　of　desire。
　〃Oh；　God　。　。　。〃
　Tori　collapsed　against　him；　and　they　tumbled　in　a　heap　to　the　floor。　She　took　him　in　her　hands；　whispered；　〃I　want　you　hard　again。　Right　now。〃
　Russell　laughed。　〃Only　one　of　us　is　from　Krypton；　remember？　Give　me　a　couple　of　minutes　to　recover。〃
　Tori　kept　her　hands　on　him；　moving；　and　as　it　turned　out；　he　didn't　need　a　couple　of　minutes。
　When　at　last　they　were　fully　sated；　Tori　rested　her　head　against　his　chest。　She　liked　hearing　the　beating　of　his　heart；　running　at　such　a　different　pace　from　hers。　It　was　as　if；　from　this　one　percussion　line；　she　could　determine　the　scope　of　the　music　that　moved　him…what　he　liked；　what　he　didn't；　what　made　him　happy；　what　made　him　sad；　what　forted　him；　what　frightened　him。　It　was　an　illusion；　she　knew…people　were　far　too　plex　for　all　their　secrets　to　be　revealed　in　such　a　way…but　it　was　a　lovely　illusion；　for　all　that。
　〃Almost　to　Moscow；〃　Tori　said　wryly　when　they　had　returned　to　their　seats；　〃and　all　we　can　think　about　is　sex。〃
　〃It's　a　survival　instinct；〃　Russell　said。　〃We　both　know　where　we're　headed；　that　there's　nothing　but　trouble　waiting　for　us　when　we　land；　and　yet　we're　still　going。　There's　a　part　of　us　that　does　what　it　has　to　to　remind　us　we're　still　alive。〃
　〃Is　that　what　our　making　love　was　to　you？　A　primitive　instinct？〃
　〃I　see　that　once　again　I've　said　the　wrong　thing。〃
　〃You　bet　you　have！〃　Tori　said；　pulling　away。
　〃Calm　down；〃　Russell　said。
　Tori　shook　away　his　hold。　〃Don't　tell　me　what　to　do！〃
　〃I'm　not　for　Christ's　sake　telling　you　what　to　do。〃
　〃Well；　how　do　you　expect　me　to　act　when　we've　just　made　such　wonderful　love　and　you　tell　me　that！　Didn't　it　mean　anything　more　to　you　than　some　kind　of　anthropological　mating　dance？〃
　〃Of　course　it　did！〃　Russell　shouted。　〃Haven't　I　already　told　you　I　love　you？　But　I　haven't　heard　a　word　in　reply。〃
　In　the　ringing　silence　they　stared　at　each　other。
　〃Sometimes　I　wish　I　didn't　love　you；〃　Russell　said　in　a　low　voice。　〃We're　so　different。　You're　such　a　mystery　to　me。　You　can　be　quite　frightening　at　times。　The　things　you're　capable　of。。。　I　don't　really　know　what　I'm　letting　myself　in　for；　loving　you。〃
　〃We　never　do　know；〃　Tori　said　softly。　〃Isn't　that　part　of　the　excitement　of　love；　the　not　knowing；　the　future　of　finding　out　together？〃
　〃Tori；''　Russell　said。　〃Do　you　love　me？''
　〃Oh；　Russ。〃　She　kissed　him　hard　on　the　lips。　When　she　pulled　her　head　away；　she　said；　〃I'm　afraid；　too。〃
　〃Of　what？〃
　''Of　losing　myself　in　you。''
　〃I'm　not　your　father。〃
　She　stared　at　him。　〃What　do　you　mean？〃
　''Isn't　that　what　happened　to　you？　You　wanted　to　lose　yourself　in　him；　and　because　you　couldn't；　you　lost　yourself　in　Bernard　Godwin？〃
　〃What　a　horrible　thing　to　say。〃
　〃Perhaps；　but　it's　the　truth。〃　Russell　held　her。　〃Tori；　this　is　what　Bernard　saw　in　you…the　Wild　Child　of　Tokyo。　Do　you　think　he　came　upon　you　by　accident；　that　he　hadn't　studied　you　for　months？　Understanding　your　particular　psychology