el.angeleyes-第129部分

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he's　not　so　very　different　than　we　are；　Russ。　He's　caught　in　a　spiderweb　of　deceit；　and　now　he's　doing　the　best　he　can　to　crawl　out　of　it。〃
　〃Christ；　I　hope　you're　right　about　this　guy。〃
　Tori　stared　out　at　the　domes　of　St。　Basil's。　She　was　struck　by　how　alien　this　city　seemed　to　her。　She　remembered　stories　her　father　used　to　tell　her　that　his　father　had　told　him；　legends　of　valiant　Ural　mountain　wolves　in　winter；　tales　of　courageous　Georgian　peasants　in　high　summer；　sagas　of　brave　soldiers　caught　on　the　ice　fields　of　Siberia。　How　different　this　strange　and　unpleasant　place　seemed　from　the　settings　of　those　magical　stories。
　How　she　had　hated　when　her　father　had　spoken　to　her　in　his　native　Russian。　She　had　known　he　was　only　trying　to　help　her　in　her　studies；　but　she　despised　the　Russian　classes　she　was　taking…hated　everything　Russian。　She　had　wanted　her　father　to　speak　English　like　the　fathers　of　all　her　friends。　Now；　to　her　surprise；　she　found　that　she　wished　he　were　here　with　her　to　talk　with　her　in　Russian；　and　to　guide　her　around　this　remote　and　forbidding　metropolis。
　She　wondered　whether　he　would　like　it　here　if　he　ever　came。　She　suspected　that　he　would　be　depressed　by　modern…day　Russia；　as　she　was。　Perestroika　or　not；　it　was　still　as　backward　as　a　third…world　country。
　It　was　not　until　ten　that　they　were　finished　eating。　Night　was　ing　down　at　last。
　〃It's　not　going　to　happen；〃　Russell　said。　〃And　now　we've　lost　Nikolev　as　well。　He's　off　in　some　place　called　Zvezdny　Gorodok。〃
　〃Star　Town；〃　Tori　said。　〃Where　they　train　and　house　the　cosmonauts　for　the　Soviet　space　program。〃
　〃We　never　should　have　allowed　him　to　go　without　us。〃
　〃Too　late　for　that。〃
　The　bill　came　on　a　small　tray。　Tori　picked　it　up；　saw　a　piece　of　paper；　smaller　than　the　bill；　lying　on　the　tray。　She　scooped　it　up；　read　it　quickly；　excitedly。　Then　she　looked　up；　said　softly　to　Russell；　〃We're　in　business。〃
　〃Irina；〃　Mars　said；　〃e　here　for　a　moment。〃
　Irina　gratefully　abandoned　her　faked　search　through　the　hard　disk　of　Valeri's　Toshiba；　went　across　the　room　to　where　Mars　was　standing。　He　was　in　deep　shadow；　and　she　could　not　make　out　his　face。
　〃In　here；〃　he　said；　pushing　open　a　door　for　her　to　step　through。
　Inside　the　small　cubicle　he　said；　〃Now　that　Odysseus　is　asleep　in　his　bed；　I　want　to　have　a　talk　with　you。''
　Irina　nodded；　keeping　herself　as　calm　as　she　was　able。　She　wished　she　could　control　her　heartbeat　as　she　had　read　the　priests　of　Tibet　could。
　〃What　did　he　tell　you　about　his　sources　of　information？〃
　Irina　blinked。　〃Sources？　I　thought　Natasha　Mayakova　was　his　source。〃
　〃She　was　a　courier；　yes；　that's　clear。〃　Mars　said。　〃But　I　don't　believe　she　could　have　brought　him　all　his　information。　He's　always　too　up…to…date　when　I　see　him。　Natasha　saw　him　only　perhaps　once　a　week。　I　see　him　more　often。〃
　〃He　didn't　say　anything；　and　in　any　case；　I　felt　I　couldn't　press　him。〃
　〃He　didn't　say　anything　about　Lara　or　Tatiana。〃
　Irina　could　feel　her　heart　skip　a　beat。　〃No。〃
　''Was　he　suspicious　when　you　asked　him　about　his　sources？''
　〃No；〃　Irina　said。　〃I　didn't　word　it　as　a　question。　Anyway；　he　seemed　to　have　other　things　on　his　mind。〃
　〃What；　for　instance？〃
　Irina　looked　away。　〃He's　very　。　。　。　sexually　active。〃
　〃Ah。〃
　〃Are　you　angry？〃
　''Ask　me　that　in　half　an　hour；''　Mars　said。
　Irina's　head　swung　around。　She　kept　her　eyes　on　him。　〃What　will　happen　then？〃
　〃I'll　know　unequivocally　whether　you　have　betrayed　me　to　Valeri　Denysovich。〃
　There　was　a　buzzing　in　Irina's　ears；　and　she　thought　she　would　faint。　〃What　are　you　saying？　Valeri　is　KGB。　You　know　how　I　loathe　them。〃
　Mars　said；　〃I　am　now　prepared　to　say　that　I　don't　know　as　much　about　you　as　I　would　like。〃
　〃You're　very　different　here；〃　Irina　said；　trying　to　break　off　this　inquisition。　She　hoped　she　was　able　to　keep　all　wariness　out　of　her　voice。
　''Not　here；''　Mars　said。　''Now。　Valeri　has　declared　open　war　on　me。〃　He　shrugged。　〃This　will　be　a　difficult　and　trying　time　for　us　all。〃　He　moved　with　the　casual　grace　Irina　was　used　to；　but　she　noticed　that　he　always　kept　himself　between　her　and　the　door。　〃You　should　take　that　as　a　warning。〃
　〃But　how　can　you　suspect　me？〃　Irina　said。　〃Didn't　I　give　you　Natasha　Mayakova？〃
　Mars　nodded。　〃Indeed　you　did；　but　that　could　have　been　a　mistake。〃
　''Mistake？　I　knew　exactly　what　I　was　doing。''
　〃I　wonder；〃　Mars　said。　His　gaze　seemed　to　penetrate　her　defenses　layer　by　layer。　〃The　work　you　have　been　doing　is　tremendously　strenuous　even　for　a　trained　professional…　which　most　certainly　you　are　not。　You　have　to　be　mentally　and　emotionally　tough　to　be　able　to　befriend　people　and　then　on　mand　betray　them。
　〃You　spend　so　much　time　pretending　to　be　someone　else　that　often　you　actually　bee　that　someone　else。　Isn't　it　so；　Irina？　Admit　it；　it　happens　to　even　the　most　hardened　professionals。　Illusion　bees　real　and　vice　versa。　In　a　way；　it's　a　form　of　camouflage。　If　you　believe　your　false　identity　is　real；　so　will　everyone　else　around　you。　Surely　you　can　see　the　logic　of　such　a　trap。　In　any　case；　I'm　told　by　experts　that　it's　a　sound　psychological　principle。〃
　〃No　matter；〃　Irina　said　somewhat　defensively。　〃It　hasn't　happened　to　me。〃
　〃No？〃　He　was　very　close　to　her　now。　Close　enough　to　hear　the　rapid　pounding　of　her　heart？　〃Who　are　you；　really？　The　sweet　Irina　Ponomareva　my　family　knows？　Or　the　devious　Katya　Boroskaya　who　is　using　Natasha　Mayakova？　Or　the　tough　Irina　Ponomareva　who　is　spying　on　Valeri　Denysovich？〃　He　cocked　his　head　sagely。　〃You　know；　even　I　get　confused　trying　to　sort　through　all　these　different　personalities。　It　certainly　would　be　understandable　if　you　did；　as　well。〃
　〃I　don't　understand　what　you're　doing；〃　Irina　said。　〃Why　are　you　trying　to　put　words　in　my　mouth？〃
　Mars　spread　his　hands。　〃I'm　just　trying　to　sort　out　illusion　from　reality；　fact　from　fiction；　myth　from　certainty。　I'm　like　an　archaeologist　at　an　important　historic　dig。　Many　people　are　counting　on　the　acuity　of　my　skills。〃
　〃I　don't　know　what　you're　getting　at。〃
　〃You　know；　I　blame　myself　most　of　all；　Irina。　I'm　afraid　I　pushed　you　into　this　triple　life。　I　see　now　the　foolishness　of　my　action。　But　it　was　pulsive。　Surely　that　absolves　me；　if　only　a　little。　Valeri　Denysovich　pushed　me　to　it。　Because　of　him；　you've　been　walking　a　perilous　tightrope；　and　now　you've　fallen　off。　You've　lost　your　center；　you've　forgotten　who　you　really　are；　what　your　true　allegiance　should　be。
　〃As　I　said　before；　it's　perfectly　understandable。　Certainly；　there's　no　hint　of　a　criminal　act　involved；　nothing　you　could　be　charged　with；　no　matter　what　your　confession　might　bring　to　light。　I'd　see　to　that　personally。〃　He　reached　out　to　touch　her　fortingly。　〃You　can　count　on　me；　Irina；　to　be　your　guardian　angel。〃
　The　odd　and　terribly　frightening　thing　was　that　Irina　almost　believed　him。　There　was　so　much　essential　truth　in　what　he　was　saying　that　it　was　easy　to　accept　the　entire　package…believe　everything：　that　she　would　be　off　the　hook；　that　she　would　not　be　charged；　that　he　would　protect　her　no　matter　what。　No　endless　Siberian　whiter；　no　bars　over　her　moon；　after　all。　It　was　so　very　tempting。
　He　made　it　so　difficult　to　see　the　lie　hidden　away　beneath　his　version　of　the　truth；　but　Irina　did　see　it　at　last　and；　imagining　him　torturing　Natasha；　she　wondered　how　on　earth　she　was　going　to　fight　this　enormously　powerful　and　charismatic　creature。
　She　could　see　that　she　was　out　of　time。　It　was　obvious　to　her　that　Mars　was　pushing　for　a　resolution…soft　or　hard…one　way　or　another。　She　had　to　fight　him；　but　how？　Then　she　thought　of　Odysseus；　Mars's　prisoner　for　almost　eighteen　months。　He　had　successfully　fought　Mars。　How？　By　applying　Mars's　own　psychology　and　boomeranging　it　back　at　him。　Mars　might　on　the　surface　seem　invulnerable；　but　Odysseus　had　certainly　proved　that　to　be　an　illusion。
　Mars　was　now　frightened　of　Odysseus　because　Odysseus　had　convinced　him　that　he　was　metamorphosing　into　another　kind　of　being。　Was　that　a　plete　lie？　Irina　did　not　know；　and　she　suspected　that；　for　all　his　bravery　and　bravado；　Odysseus　did　not　know；　either。　After　all；　he　had　been　made　into　an　experiment　to　see　the　effects　of　cosmic　rays　on　the　human　body　and　mind。