el.angeleyes-第97部分

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the　places　where　her　bones　were　had　been　turned　into　conduits；　filled　with　an　alien　fluid　pulsing　with　the　beat　of　their　two　hearts。
　And　in　that　shocked　instant；　when　her　hips　speeded　up　but　felt　heavy　with　lust　and　longing；　Irina　saw/knew/sensed　what　it　was　that　Odysseus　had　encountered　in　the　space　between　the　stars；　the　entity　that　had　given　him　the　tantalizing　glimpse　of　its　world/time/reality：　a　double…pumped　engine　like　a　heart；　liquid　〃bones〃　beneath　muscle　as　hard　as　a　carapace；　sense　organs　in　a　star…shaped　cluster　in　what　might　be　called　a　head；　but　with　a　body　shape　that　was　inprehensible　because　it　slipped　back　and　forth　between　two　and　three　dimensions。
　Odysseus　was　not　mad…or　perhaps　he　was　mad；　and　she　was　mad　as　well。　But　if　so；　then　this　madness　was　a　state　of　grace；　and　Irina　was　grateful　that　it　had　e　to　her。
　This　thought　exploded　in　her　mind　like　lightning　as　her　body　spasmed；　as　the　Него　exploded　inside　her；　so　deep　that　she　felt　him　hard　against　her　inner　core；　and　this　set　her　off　again；　moaning　and　thrashing　against　him；　hearing　his　own　deep…felt　groan　in　her　mind　as　well　as　in　her　ears。
　Ripples；　black　in　the　starless　darkness　that　immersed　them；　held　them　fast；　protected　them　from　everyone　and　everything；　purled　outward　from　the　engine　of　their　bodies；　filling　the　water's　surface　with　purpose。
　At　the　other　end　of　the　pool；　Arbat　floated；　still；　silent；　feeling　the　ripples　wash　endlessly　against　her；　happy　because　the　Hero　was　happy；　content　because　the　Него　was　content。
　After　a　very　long　time　Odysseus　slipped　from　Irina's　warmth；　but；　strangely；　she　did　not　feel　the　emptiness；　the　sting　of　sadness　she　usually　did　at　that　moment。　She　was　left　with　the　image　of　what　she　had　been　exposed　to；　what　she　had　bee。　She　reached　out；　touched　him；　wondering　if；　instead　of　calcium；　there　was　fluid　running　in　the　conduits　of　his　bones。
　Odysseus　laughed。　〃Not　yet；〃　he　said；　reading　her　mind。　〃Though　maybe　one　day。〃
　Irina　was　still　trembling。　Waves　of　emotion　rippled　through　her；　but　it　could　not　dissolve　the　dark　undercurrent　that　left　a　bitter　taste　in　her　mouth。　And　she　thought；　I've　lied　to　Valeri；　to　Mars；　even　to　Natasha。　I　cannot　lie　to　him。　She　clamped　down　on　her　dread　of　the　repercussions；　said；　〃Actually；　Mars　did　want　me　to　find　out　something。''
　The　Hero　was　silent。　Arbat　moved　closer；　watched　Irina　with　a　peculiar；　disconcerting　intensity。
　Irina　swallowed　hard。　In　sudden　panic；　she　wanted　to　turn　back　time；　but　instead　she　pressed　on。　〃He　wanted　to　know　where　you　got　some　papers　you　showed　him；　a　top…secret　file。〃　Watching　Odysseus；　she　held　her　breath。　She　could　feel　the　blood　pounding　in　her　temples。　〃Are　you　angry　with　me？〃
　〃On　the　contrary；〃　Odysseus　said；　〃I'm　grateful　you　told　me。〃
　Irina　put　her　hands　on　him。　〃It　was　wicked　of　me　not　to　tell　you　right　away。〃
　〃Was　it？〃
　''I　don't　want　to　ever　lie　to　you。''
　He　smiled。　〃That's　a　wonderful　ambition。〃　He　said　it　as　if　he　meant　〃impossible；〃　instead　of　〃wonderful。〃
　〃I　want…〃　She　stopped　abruptly；　marshalling　her　thoughts。　〃I　need　someone　I　can　trust；　someone　I　can　confide　in。〃。
　〃You　mean　rade　Volkov　isn't　the　one？〃
　This　is　it；　Irina　thought。　I　want　to…I　must　tell　him。　I　know　he　will　understand。　And；　taking　a　deep　breath；　she　stepped　off　the　edge　of　her　world。
　〃I　have　spent　some　time　in　America；　Boston；〃　she　said。　〃The　Cambridge　area　is　filled　with　students　from　many　wonderful　universities。　I　got　drunk　on　the　atmosphere　and　the　variety　of　opinions。　At　least　I　thought　I　was　drunk。　But　when　I　came　home；　and　sobered　up；　I　realized　that　I　had　left　a　piece　of　myself　in　Cambridge。　I　had　fallen　hopelessly　in　love。　Can　one　fall　in　love　with　a　place？　Why　not？　But　ever　since；　that　love　has　been　like　a　stone　in　my　heart。〃　Drifting。　Arbat　close；　listening　it　seemed；　too。　〃Now　I　know　just　how　Shakespeare's　Juliet　must　have　felt。　Love　and　pain　are　sometimes　inseparable。〃
　〃Yes；〃　Odysseus　said。　〃It　is　true　that　sometimes　memories　hurt。　Memories　of　paths　not　taken；　memories　of　what　might　have　been。''
　Irina　watched　the　play　of　light　across　his　face；　tiny　crescent　reflections　off　the　surface　of　the　water。　She　could　not　decide　whether　she　saw　the　sadness　in　his　face　or　felt　it　emanating　from　him。　After　a　time　she　said；　〃Are　you　here　of　your　own　free　will？〃
　〃That　sounds　like　a　metaphysical　question；〃　he　said。　〃I　don't　know　if　I　'm　qualified　to　answer　it。〃
　She　cocked　her　head　inquisitively；　she　was　getting　the　knack　of　manipulating　silences。
　〃The　question　of　free　will　is　an　important　one；〃　Odysseus　said　carefully。　〃We　all　may　believe　that　there　is　free　will；　but　I　doubt　now　that　it's　the　case。　We　are…have　bee…what　we　have　been　made　into；　what　has　been　implanted　in　us　in　an　unconscious；　a　subliminal　sense　at　a　very　early　age。　And；　as　adults；　the　way　in　which　we　respond　to　people　and　to　situations　is　determined　by　the　nature　of　that　subliminal　information　we　may　not　even　know　is　there。''
　As　he　spoke；　Irina　felt　a　tiny　shiver　race　down　her；　and　she　sought　to　be　closer　to　him；　as　if　so　near　his　presence　she　could　beat　back　the　unpleasant　truth　that　seemed　so　unfortably　near　now。　She　had　seemed　so　close　to　freedom　when　he　was　inside　her；　but　now　the　old　sad　Irina　was　trying　to　reassert　herself。　Don't　think　about　it；　she　told　herself。
　〃I　wonder；〃　Odysseus　said；　〃whether　you　hold　me　as　you　hold　all　your　men？''
　〃Are　you　jealous　of　Mars　already？〃　Irina　said。　She　had　meant　it　humorously；　a　light　touch　to　a　conversation　pulling　her　ever　deeper　into　the　heart　of　her　own　darkness。
　〃Jealousy　has　nothing　to　do　with　it；〃　Odysseus　said。
　〃Of　course。　One　of　my　men　is　KGB。''
　〃Yes。〃
　〃You　know？〃　Irina　was　startled。
　''The　KGB　knows　many　things；''　Odysseus　said。　''But　I　know　more。''　　His　eyes　were　light；　she　could　see　pinpoints　dancing　in　their　depths。　''I　know　how　we　are　joined。　There　can　be　no　deceit　in　such　openness；　just　as　there　can　be　no　duplication　of　it　with　another。　No；　Irina；　I　am　not　threatened。　But　I　am　concerned　by　your　dependence　on　men。〃
　''What　are　you　talking　about？''　But　her　heartbeat；　out　of　sync　with　his；　accelerated　painfully；　as　if　she　already　knew　what　he　would　say。
　〃Nothing。〃　There　was　so　much　sadness　in　his　voice　that　Irina's　heart　broke。
　〃Won't　you　talk　to　me　about　it？〃
　〃No；〃　Odysseus　said。　〃I'll　talk　to　you　about　space。　The　final　frontier；　isn't　it？〃　He　laughed；　but　there　was　an　unease　to　him　that　Irina　found　unnerving。　Arbat　splashed　nervously　near　them。
　〃But　what　have　I　said　to　offend　you？〃
　〃Not　a　thing。〃
　''Then　why　do　I　suddenly　feel　cut　off　from　you？''
　〃You　are　cut　off　from　yourself；〃　Odysseus　said。
　〃You　can　help　me；　then。〃
　〃If　I　try；　I'll　only　succeed　in　plunging　you　deeper　into　the　woods　in　which　you　are　lost。''
　Irina；　on　the　verge　of　tears；　said；　〃I　don't　understand。〃
　Arbat；　swimming　fast　beneath　the　water；　surfaced　at　Irina's　side；　pushed　her　head　against　Irina's　hand；　as　if　she　could　feel　Irina's　distress。
　〃Arbat；〃　Irina　whispered。　〃What　am　I　to　do？〃　But　she　was　staring　into　Odysseus's　dark　eyes。
　Arbat　chattered　in　her　high　dolphin　voice；　and　Irina　said　sadly；　''If　only　I　could　understand　what　you're　saying。''
　〃I'll　translate；〃　Odysseus　said。　〃She　says　life　is　short　but　lessons　are　not　quickly　learned。''
　〃Is　that　true　of　dolphins　as　well；　I　wonder？〃　
　Odysseus　looked　at　her。　''Dolphins　have　no　lessons　to　learn；''　he　said；　〃except　when　it　es　to　dealing　with　man。〃
　〃I　believe；　Mr。　Yasuwara；　that　we　are　finished　with　you；〃　Big　Ezoe　said。
　〃Just　like　that？〃
　〃Just　like　that；〃　Big　Ezoe　said。
　〃You're　going　to　let　me　go？〃
　〃Oh；　no；〃　Big　Ezoe　said。　〃How　can　I？　You've　lied　to　me　from　the　beginning。''
　〃But…〃
　〃You　would　have　me　believe　that　Hitasura；　Kunio　Michita；　and　Fumida　Ten…all　of　whose　profit　motives　are　highly　honed…　are　putting　together　an　organization　to　make　some　kind　of　nuclear　reactors；　and　then　they　are　shipping　them　into　Russia；　a　country　so　poor　it　has　to　buy　wheat　from　the　Americans　to　feed　its　own　people？　What　do　you　take　me　for？　It　simply　isn't　logical。〃
　〃But　it's　the　truth。　I　swear　it！〃　Yen　Yasuwara's　eyes　were　bulging；　his　hands　vibrating　with　his　terror。
　〃For　a　start；　why　would　Hitasura　sink