sk.everythingseventual-第111部分

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　you'd　put　in　tree　quarters！'
　　'That　would　have　been　more　luck　than　I　could　have　stood；'　Dar…lene　said。　She　felt　like　crying。　She　didn't　know　why　that　should　be；　but　it　was；　she　could　feel　the　tears　burning　the　backs　of　her　eyeballs　like　weak　acid。　Gerda　helped　her　scoop　the　quarters　out　of　the　tray；　and　when　they　were　all　in　Darlene's　uniform　pocket；　that　side　of　her　dress　sagged　ically。　The　only　thought　to　cross　her　mind　was　to　think　that　she　ought　to　get　Paul　something　nice；　some　toy。　Fifteen　dollars　wasn't　enough　for　the　Sega　system　he　wanted；　not　by　a　long　shot；　but　it　might　buy　one　of　the　electronic　things　he　was　always　looking　at　in　the　window　of　Radio　Shack　at　the　mall；　not　asking；　he　knew　better；　he　was　sickly　but　that　didn't　make　him　stupid；　just　staring　with　eyes　that　always　seemed　to　be　inflamed　and　watering。
　　The　hell　you　will；　she　told　herself。　You'll　put　it　toward　a　pair　of　shoes；　is　what　you'll　do　。　。　。　or　Patsy's　goddam　braces。　Paul　wouldn't　mind　that；　and　you　know　it。
　　No；　Paul　wouldn't　mind；　and　that　was　the　hell　of　it；　she　thought；　sifting　her　fingers　through　the　weight　of　quarters　in　her　pocket　and　listening　to　them　jingle。　You　minded　things　for　them。　Paul　knew　the　radio…controlled　boats　and　cars　and　planes　in　the　store　window　were　as　out　of　reach　as　the　Sega　system　and　all　the　games　you　could　play　on　it；　to　him　that　stuff　existed　to　be　appreciated　in　the　imagination　only；　like　pictures　in　a　gallery　or　sculptures　in　a　museum。　To　her；　however　。　。　。
　　Well；　maybe　she　would　get　him　something　silly　with　her　windfall。　Something　silly　and　nice。　Surprise　him。
　　Surprise　herself。
　　
　　She　surprised　herself；　all　right。
　　Plenty。
　　That　night　she　decided　to　walk　home　instead　of　taking　the　bus。　Halfway　down　North　Street；　she　turned　into　the　Silver　City　Casino；　where　she　had　never　been　before　in　her　life。　She　had　changed　the　quarters…there　had　been　eighteen　dollars'　worth　in　all…into　bills　at　the　hotel　desk；　and　now；　feeling　like　a　visitor　inside　her　own　body；　she　approached　the　roulette　wheel　and　held　these　bills　out　to　the　croupier　with　a　hand　entirely　void　of　feeling。　Nor　was　it　just　her　hand；　every　nerve　below　the　surface　of　her　skin　seemed　to　have　gone　dead；　as　if　this　sudden；　aberrant　behavior　had　blown　them　out　like　overloaded　fuses。
　　It　doesn't　matter；　she　told　herself　as　she　put　all　eighteen　of　the　unmarked　pink　dollar　chips　on　the　space　marked　ODD。　It's　just　a　quarter；　that's　really　all　it　is　no　matter　what　it　looks　like　on　that　runner　of　felt；　it's　only　someone's　bad　joke　on　a　chambermaid　he'd　never　actually　have　to　look　in　the　eye。　It's　only　a　quarter　and　you're　still　just　trying　to　get　rid　of　it；　because　it's　multiplied　and　changed　its　shape；　but　it's　still　sending　out　bad　vibes。
　　'No　more　bets；　no　more　bets；'　the　wheel's　minder　chanted　as　the　ball　revolved　counterclockwise　to　the　spinning　wheel。　The　ball　dropped；　bounced；　caught；　and　Darlene　closed　her　eyes　for　a　moment。　When　she　opened　them；　she　saw　the　ball　riding　around　in　the　slot　marked　15。
　　The　croupier　pushed　eighteen　more　pink　chips…to　Darlene　they　looked　like　squashed　Canada　Mints…over　to　her。　Darlene　picked　them　up　and　put　them　all　back　down　on　the　red。　The　croupier　looked　at　her；　eyebrows　raised；　asking　without　saying　a　word　if　she　was　sure。　She　nodded　that　she　was；　and　he　spun。　When　red　came　up；　she　shifted　her　growing　pile　of　chips　to　the　black。
　　Then　the　odd。
　　Then　the　even。
　　She　had　five　hundred　and　seventy…six　dollars　in　front　of　her　after　that　last　one；　and　her　head　had　gone　to　some　other　planet。　It　was　not　black　and　green　and　pink　chips　she　saw　in　front　of　her；　not　precisely；　it　was　braces　and　a　radio…controlled　submarine。
　　Luckey　me；　Darlene　Pullen　thought。　Oh　luckey；　luckey　me。
　　She　put　the　chips　down　again；　all　of　them；　and　the　crowd　that　always　forms　behind　and　around　sudden　hot…streak　winners　in　gambling　towns；　even　at　five　o'clock　in　the　afternoon；　groaned。
　　'Ma'am；　I　can't　allow　that　bet　without　the　pit…boss's　okay；'　the　roulette　wheel's　minder　said。　He　looked　considerably　more　awake　now　than　he　had　when　Darlene　walked　up　in　her　blue…and…white…striped　rayon　uniform。　She　had　put　her　money　down　on　the　second　triple…the　numbers　from　13　to　24。
　　'Better　get　him　over　here　then；　hon；'　Darlene　said；　and　waited；　calm；　her　feet　on　Mother　Earth　here　in　Carson　City；　Nevada；　seven　miles　from　where　the　first　big　silver　mine　opened　up　in　1878；　her　head　somewhere　deep　in　the　deluminum　mines　of　the　Planet　Chumpa…diddle；　as　the　pit…boss　and　the　minder　conferred　and　the　crowd　around　her　murmured。　At　last　the　pit…boss　came　over　to　her　and　asked　her　to　write　down　her　name　and　address　and　telephone　number　on　a　piece　of　pink　memo　paper。　Darlene　did　it；　interested　to　see　that　her　handwriting　hardly　looked　like　her　own。　She　felt　calm；　as　calm　as　the　calmest　deluminum　miner　who　had　ever　lived；　but　her　hands　were　shaking　badly。
　　The　pit…boss　turned　to　Mr。　Roulette　Minder　and　twirled　his　fin…ger　in　the　air…spin　it；　son。
　　This　time　the　rattle　of　the　little　white　ball　was　clearly　audible　in　the　area　around　the　roulette　table；　the　crowd　had　fallen　entirely　silent；　and　Darlene's　was　the　only　bet　on　the　felt。　This　was　Carson　City；　not　Monte　Carlo；　and　for　Carson；　this　was　a　monster　bet。　The　ball　rattled；　fell　into　a　slot；　jumped；　fell　into　another；　then　jumped　again。　Darlene　closed　her　eyes。
　　Luckey；　she　thought；　she　prayed。　Luckey　me；　luckey　mom；　luckey　girl。
　　The　crowd　moaned；　either　in　horror　or　ecstasy。　That　was　how　she　knew　the　wheel　had　slowed　enough　to　read。　Darlene　opened　her　eyes；　knowing　that　her　quarter　was　finally　gone。
　　Except　it　wasn't。
　　The　little　white　ball　was　resting　in　the　slot　marked　13　Black。
　　'Oh　my　God；　honey；'　a　woman　behind　her　said。　'Give　me　your　hand；　I　want　to　rub　your　hand。'　Darlene　gave　it；　and　felt　the　other　one　gently　taken　as　well…taken　and　fondled。　From　some　distance　far；　far　away　from　the　deluminum　mines　where　she　was　having　this　fantasy；　she　could　feel　first　two　people；　then　four；　then　six；　then　eight；　gently　rubbing　her　hands；　trying　to　catch　her　luck　like　a　cold…germ。
　　Mr。　Roulette　was　pushing　piles　and　piles　of　chips　over　to　her。
　　'How　much？'　she　asked　faintly。　'How　much　is　that？'
　　'Seventeen　hundred　and　twenty…eight　dollars；'　he　said。　'Congratulations；　ma'am。　If　I　were　you…'
　　'But　you're　not；'　Darlene　said。　'I　want　to　put　it　all　down　on　one　number。　That　one。'　She　pointed。　'25。'　Behind　her；　someone　screamed　softly；　as　if　in　sexual　rapture。　'Every　cent　of　it。'
　　'No；'　the　pit…boss　said。
　　'But…'
　　'No；'　he　said　again；　and　she　had　been　working　for　men　most　of　her　life；　enough　of　it　to　know　when　one　of　them　meant　exactly　what　he　was　saying。　'House　policy；　Mrs。　Pullen。'
　　'All　right；'　she　said。　'All　right；　you　chickenshit。'　She　pulled　the　chips　back　toward　her；　spilling　some　of　the　piles。　'How　much　will　you　let　me　put　down？'
　　'Excuse　me；'　the　pit…boss　said。
　　He　was　gone　for　almost　five　minutes。　During　that　time　the　wheel　stood　silent。　No　one　spoke　to　Darlene；　but　her　hands　were　touched　repeatedly；　and　sometimes　chafed　as　if　she　were　a　fainting　victim。　When　the　pit…boss　came　back；　he　had　a　tall　bald　man　with　him。　The　tall　bald　man　was　wearing　a　tuxedo　and　gold…rimmed　glasses。　He　did　not　look　at　Darlene　so　much　as　through　her。
　　'Eight　hundred　dollars；'　he　said；　'but　I　advise　against　it。'　His　eyes　dropped　down　the　front　of　her　uniform；　then　back　up　at　her　face。　'I　think　you　should　cash　in　your　winnings；　madam。'
　　'I　don't　think　you　know　jack　shit　in　a　backyard　outhouse；'　Darlene　said；　and　the　tall　bald　man's　mouth　tightened　in　distaste。　She　shifted　her　gaze　to　Mr。　Roulette。　'Do　it；'　she　said。
　　
　　Mr。　Roulette　put　down　a　plaque　with　800　written　on　it；　positioning　it　fussily　so　it　covered　the　number　25。　Then　he　spun　the　wheel　and　dropped　the　ball。　The　entire　casino　had　gone　silent　now；　even　the　persistent　ratchet…and…ding　of　the　slot　machines。　Darlene　looked　up；　across　the　room；　and　wasn't　surprised　to　see　that　the　bank　of　TVs　which　had　previously　been　showing　horse　races　and　boxing　matches　were　now　showing　the　spinning　roulette　wheel　。　。　。　and　her。
　　I'm　even　a　TV　star。　Luckey　me。　Luckey　me