rh.theassassinsapprentice-第24部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


oldier　on　a　three…day　drunk；　but　without　the　wine。　Boy；　what's　the　matter　with　you？〃
　　　　　　　He　looked　down　on　me　with　sincere　worry。　It　was　the　same　look　he　wore　when　he　was　afraid　a　mare　was　going　to　miscarry；　or　when　hunters　brought　back　dogs　that　boars　had　gotten　to。　It　reached　me；　and　without　meaning　to；　I　quested　out　toward　him。　As　always；　the　wall　was　there；　but　Vixen　whined　lightly　and　put　her　muzzle　against　my　cheek。　I　tried　to　express　what　was　inside　me　without　betraying　Chade。　〃I'm　just　so　alone　now；〃　I　heard　myself　say；　and　even　to　me　it　sounded　like　a　feeble　plaint。
　　　　　　　〃Alone？〃　Burrich's　brows　knit。　〃Fitz；　I'm　right　here。　How　can　you　say　you're　alone？〃
　　　　　　　And　there　the　conversation　ended；　with　both　of　us　looking　at　one　another　and　neither　understanding　at　all。　Later　he　brought　me　food；　but　didn't　insist　I　eat　it。　And　he　left　Vixen　with　me　for　the　night。　A　part　of　me　wondered　how　she　would　react　if　the　door　opened；　but　a　larger　part　of　me　knew　I　didn't　have　to　worry。　That　door　would　never　open　again。
　　　　　　　Morning　came　again。　And　Vixen　nosed　at　me　and　whined　to　go　out。　Too　broken　to　care　if　Burrich　caught　me；　I　quested　toward　her。　Hungry　and　thirsty　and　her　bladder　was　about　to　burst。　And　her　disfort　was　suddenly　my　own。　I　dragged　on　a　tunic　and　took　her　down　the　stairs　and　outside；　and　then　back　to　the　kitchen　to　eat。　Cook　was　more　pleased　to　see　me　than　I　had　imagined　anyone　could　be。　Vixen　was　given　a　generous　bowl　of　last　night's　stew；　while　Cook　insisted　on　fixing　me　six　rashers　of　thick…cut　bacon　on　the　warm　crust　of　the　day's　first　baking　of　bread。　Vixen's　keen　nose　and　sharp　appetite　sparked　my　own　senses；　and　I　found　myself　eating；　not　with　my　normal　appetite　but　with　a　young　creature's　sensory　appreciation　for　food。
　　　　　　　From　there　she　led　me　to　the　stables；　and　though　I　pulled　my　mind　back　from　her　before　we　went　inside；　I　felt　somewhat　rejuvenated　from　the　contact。　Burrich　straightened　up　from　some　task　as　I　came　in；　looked　me　over；　glanced　at　Vixen；　grunted　wryly　to　himself；　and　then　handed　me　a　suckle　bottle　and　wick。　〃There　isn't　much　in　a　man's　head；〃　he　told　me；　〃that　can't　be　cured　by　working　and　taking　care　of　something　else。　The　rat　dog　whelped　a　few　days　ago；　and　there's　one　pup　too　weak　to　pete　with　the　others。　See　if　you　can　keep　him　alive　today。〃
　　　　　　　It　was　an　ugly　little　pup；　pink　skin　showing　through　his　brindle　fur。　His　eyes　were　shut　tight　still；　and　the　extra　skin　he'd　use　up　as　he　grew　was　piled　atop　his　muzzle。　His　skinny　little　tail　looked　just　like　a　rat's；　so　that　I　wondered　his　mother　didn't　worry　her　own　pups　to　death　just　for　the　resemblance's　sake。　He　was　weak　and　passive；　but　I　bothered　him　with　the　warm　milk　and　wicking　until　he　sucked　a　little；　and　got　enough　all　over　him　that　his　mother　was　inspired　to　lick　and　nuzzle　him。　I　took　one　of　his　stronger　sisters　off　her　teat　and　plugged　him　into　her　place。　Her　little　belly　was　round　and　full　anyway；　she　had　only　been　sucking　for　the　sake　of　obstinacy。　She　was　going　to　be　white　with　a　black　spot　over　one　eye。　She　caught　my　little　finger　and　suckled　at　it；　and　already　I　could　feel　the　immense　strength　those　jaws　would　someday　hold。　Burrich　had　told　me　stories　about　rat　dogs　that　would　latch　onto　a　bull's　nose　and　hang　there　no　matter　what　the　bull　did。　He　had　no　use　for　men　that　would　teach　a　dog　to　do　so；　but　could　not　contain　his　respect　for　the　courage　of　a　dog　that　would　take　on　a　bull。　Our　rat　dogs　were　kept　for　ratting　and　taken　on　regular　patrols　of　the　corncribs　and　grain　barns。
　　　　　　　I　spent　the　whole　morning　there　and　left　at　noon　with　the　gratification　of　seeing　the　pup's　small　belly　round　and　tight　with　milk。　The　afternoon　was　spent　mucking　stalls。　Burrich　kept　me　at　it；　adding　another　chore　as　soon　as　I　pleted　one；　with　no　time　for　me　to　do　anything　but　work。　He　didn't　talk　with　me　or　ask　me　questions；　but　he　always　seemed　to　be　working　but　a　dozen　paces　away。　It　was　as　if　he　had　taken　my　plaint　about　being　alone　quite　literally　and　was　resolved　to　be　where　I　could　see　him。　I　wound　up　my　day　back　with　my　puppy；　who　was　substantially　stronger　than　he　had　been　that　morning。　I　cradled　him　against　my　chest　and　he　crept　up　under　my　chin；　his　blunt　little　muzzle　questing　there　for　milk。　It　tickled。　I　pulled　him　down　and　looked　at　him。　He　was　going　to　have　a　pink　nose。　Men　said　the　rat　dogs　with　the　pink　noses　were　the　most　savage　ones　when　they　fought。　But　his　little　mind　now　was　only　a　muzzy　warmth　of　security　and　milk　want　and　affection　for　my　smell。　I　wrapped　him　in　my　protection　of　him；　praised　him　for　his　new　strength。　He　wiggled　in　my　fingers。　And　Burrich　leaned　over　the　side　of　the　stall　and　rapped　me　on　the　head　with　his　knuckles；　bringing　twin　yelps　from　the　pup　and　me。
　　　　　　　〃Enough　of　that；〃　he　warned　me　sternly。　〃That's　not　a　thing　for　a　man　to　do。　And　it　won't　solve　whatever　is　chewing　on　your　soul。　Give　the　pup　back　to　his　mother；　now。〃
　　　　　　　So　I　did；　but　reluctantly；　and　not　at　all　sure　that　Burrich　was　right　that　bonding　with　a　puppy　wouldn't　solve　anything。　I　longed　for　his　warm　little　world　of　straw　and　siblings　and　milk　and　mother。　At　that　moment　I　could　imagine　no　better　one。
　　　　　　　Then　Burrich　and　I　went　up　to　eat。　He　took　me　into　the　soldiers'　mess；　where　manners　were　whatever　you　had　and　no　one　demanded　talk。　It　was　forting　to　be　casually　ignored；　to　have　food　passed　over　my　head　with　no　one　being　solicitous　of　me。　Burrich　saw　that　I　ate；　though；　and　then　afterward　we　sat　outside　beside　the　kitchen's　back　door　and　drank。　I'd　had　ale　and　beer　and　wine　before；　but　I　had　never　drunk　in　the　purposeful　way　that　Burrich　now　showed　me。　When　Cook　dared　to　e　out　and　scold　him　for　giving　strong　spirits　to　a　mere　boy；　he　gave　her　one　of　his　quiet　stares　that　reminded　me　of　the　first　night　I　had　met　him；　when　he'd　faced　down　a　whole　room　of　soldiers　over　Chivalry's　good　name。　And　she　left。
　　　　　　　He　walked　me　up　to　my　room　himself；　dragged　my　tunic　off　over　my　head　as　I　stood　unsteadily　beside　my　bed；　and　then　casually　tumbled　me　into　the　bed　and　tossed　a　blanket　over　me。　〃Now　you'll　sleep；〃　he　informed　me　in　a　thick　voice。　〃And　tomorrow　we'll　do　the　same　again。　And　again。　Until　one　day　you　get　up　and　find　out　that　whatever　it　was　didn't　kill　you　after　all。〃
　　　　　　　He　blew　out　my　candle　and　left。　My　head　reeled　and　my　body　ached　from　the　day's　work。　But　I　still　didn't　sleep。　What　I　found　myself　doing　was　crying。　The　drink　had　loosened　whatever　knot　held　my　control；　and　I　wept。　Not　quietly。　I　sobbed；　and　hiccuped　and　then　wailed　with　my　jaw　shaking。　My　throat　closed　up；　my　nose　ran；　and　I　cried　so　hard　I　felt　I　couldn't　breathe。　I　think　I　cried　every　tear　I　had　never　shed　since　the　day　my　grandfather　forced　my　mother　to　abandon　me。　〃Mere！〃　I　heard　myself　call　out；　and　suddenly　there　were　arms　around　me；　holding　me　tight。
　　　　　　　Chade　held　me　and　rocked　me　as　if　I　were　a　much　younger　child。　Even　in　the　darkness　I　knew　those　bony　arms　and　the　herb…and…dust　smell　of　him。　Disbelieving；　I　clung　to　him　and　cried　until　I　was　hoarse；　and　my　mouth　so　dry　no　sound　would　e　at　all。　〃You　were　right；〃　he　said　into　my　hair；　quietly；　calmingly。　〃You　were　right。　I　was　asking　you　to　do　something　wrong；　and　you　were　right　to　refuse　it。　You　won't　be　tested　that　way　again。　Not　by　me。〃　And　when　I　was　finally　still；　he　left　me　for　a　time；　and　then　brought　back　to　me　a　drink；　lukewarm　and　almost　tasteless　but　not　water。　He　held　the　mug　to　my　mouth　and　I　drank　it　down　without　questions。　Then　I　lay　back　so　suddenly　sleepy　that　I　don't　even　remember　Chade　leaving　my　room。
　　　　　　　I　awoke　near　dawn　and　reported　to　Burrich　after　a　hearty　breakfast。　I　was　quick　at　my　chores　and　attentive　to　my　charges　and　could　not　at　all　understand　why　he　had　awakened　so　headachy　and　grumpy。　He　muttered　something　once　about　〃his　father's　head　for　spirits〃　and　then　dismissed　me　early；　telling　me　to　take　my　whistling　elsewhere。
　　　　　　　Three　days　later　King　Shrewd　summoned　me　in　the　dawn。　He　was　already　dressed；　and　there　was　a　tray　and　food　for　more　than　one　person　set　out　on　it。　As　soon　as　I　arrived；　he　sent　away　his　man　and　told　me　to　sit。　I　took　a　chair　at　the　small　table　in　his　room；　and　without　asking　me　if　I　were　hungry；　he　served